Sep 24
Hotness Interruptus Posted by Leah

Week 17…um, yeah…uhh…just keep reading…

Hello everyone!!  I’m back!  I have missed ya’ll more than I can say.  It felt SO weird to be away from you guys for so long, especially knowing that last Monday’s entry was less than stellar.  But I’m home, back to my wonderfully fast computer and my soon-to-be re-focused HMD lifestyle…and I have an explanation for this week’s missing weigh-in…

 My wee vacation left me with more than a wee cold, and I have spent the last few days in my apartment with an achy breaky body and a severely congested head.  This ’lil change of season cold could not have come at a worse time.  It has prevented me from getting back in the swing of things as I had hoped, nay, needed to do immediately upon returning home.  As I have stated before (see Road Tripping), vacations bring out the worst in me, eating-wise.  My quick romp through Harrisburg became an orgiastic foodfest - unhinge jaw, tilt back head, insert (delicious) crap.  My hometown may not be known for its cuisine, but let me tell ya’ll - Harrisburg has some good grub!  Good bad-for-ya grub.  Amazing Italian subs.  Tastycakes, which are IMPOSSIBLE to ignore and soooo easy to find.  The best potato chips and pretzels the Dutch Amish can produce.  Old-fashioned, stick to your ribs, made with real butter American food.  Soulful soul food - the one thing I thankfully missed in my brief sojourn!  The combination of this down home cooking and my skewered vacation mindset was nothing less than combustible.  Add to this the fact that I failed to spot one Hot Man that I was not related to (call me cocky, but I must say that my family is quite attractive!), and you have the recipe for a Hot Man Diet-aster, a Diet-astrophe, a Diet-geddon…to put it bluntly - shit that tain’t good

And then…to come home to a cold, oy!  I’ve got no energy to move, so exercise consists of shuffling from bed to couch to restroom and back.  I’ve got no food in the house and no desire to shop or cook, so everything I’ve eaten lately has come via drive-thru window or delivery boy.  I feel like a slug, a sloth, a lump on a log, a shell of the person I once was, and dammit if I don’t have a margarita soon I’m gonna freak out on somebody!!!  (Pardon that last outburst…I’ve been on the wagon for the past week for various and sundry reasons…thank god for that, because the lack of alcohol calories has definitely been the only bright spot in an otherwise dismal stretch…although a margarita would be really great right now…not that I need it…I just want it…that lovely limey concoction…the tempting tequila…oh, leave me alone!)

So now the question is…what to do?  How to get back on track?  Where to begin?

Hot Man Gerard ButlerHMD’ers, please allow me a moment of brutal honesty - were it not for you, my glorious Hot Man Dieteers, this would typically be the time where my weight-loss efforts would come to a crashing halt.  This trip, this rocky week, would herald the beginning of the end for all things healthy.  20 pounds lost would soon become 20 pounds found, and all the confidence and energy and pride that this journey has given me would be but a faint memory.  So I THANK YOU all from the bottom of my heart, for it is because of you that I WILL NOT give up!!  Okay, it is because of you and Gerard Butler…and Derek Jeter…and Clooney, whatever, you get the picture!

Also, you guys have heard me give myself, what, a gajillion pep talks?  (Note to all struggling sports teams - yes Notre Dame, I’m talking to you - I give an EXCELLENT pep talk.  I have a flexible schedule and and reasonable rates.  You should totally call me, mmkay?)  Glorious as my speeches may be, I shant waste your time with yet another one.  No, this is the moment when all the grand pontificating needs to give way to grand actions.  For motivation I shall simply borrow a quote from myself, one of those lines I wrote in the heat of the moment that instantly became a new fave - I will because I will it.  I will get back on track because I will it.  It really is as simple as that.  The Hotness is still out there, waiting for me…it is mine for the taking…and I will because I will it! 

And don’t worry - I will be back next week, ready to weigh in and face the consequences, whate’er they may be…

Hot Manspirations of the Week:  When one is stuck on a plane and forced to watch a film as craptacular as Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, it helps when one of the actors in said film is unerringly HOT!!  No, I’m not talking about the dude with the buff bod who wishes he was as Hot as Paul Walker.  I’m talking about Ioan Gruffud, the “nerdy” one of the crew.  (Note - I gleaned all of this “plot” information while watching the movie without headphones, although I’m CERTAIN the dialogue would not have changed my opinion of this film in the least.  Ioan - you deserve better!  Michael Chiklis - you deserve better!  Andre Braugher - are you kidding me?!  You SO deserve better!  Jessica Alba - you deserve this crap.  Isn’t it time for you to go AWAY already?!)  Anyhoo…I’ve been keeping my eye on Ioan Gruffud ever since he provided snippets of Hotness in Titanic.  He’s Welsh (yet another Hottie from the UK - am I predictable or what?) and very, very talented.  And since I’m sure that many of you have no idea who in the hell he is, let me introduce you - Hot Man Dieteers, meet Ioan Gruffud (pronounced YO-an GRIFF-ith).  Ioan, meet my Hot Man Dieteers.  Damn, he’s Hot!

Hot Man Ioan Gruffud

This week’s other Hot Manspiration yet again comes from the good people of Netflix.  Despite the cabin fever that has erupted courtesy of my actual fever, I DID have some Manjoyment Hot Man Terrence Howardin my invalid state.  Ahh, Terrence Howard.  You’re a tall, dark glass of silky smooth chocolate milk, and I’m aiming to take a loooong drink.  Terrence came to me via Pride, a movie chronicling the true-life tale of Jim Ellis, who began one of Philadelphia’s first urban swim teams (yes, my people CAN swim!).  Two great things about this flick:  1) it has Bernie Mac in it, which is always a plus (summumabitch, I love Bernie Mac!) and 2) it affords the viewer MANY chances to see Terrence and some ridonkulously built alleged teens (they really do look a tad old) in nothing but Speedos.  Lovely.  Lovely.  

(You try spendng a week in Harrisburg and tell me if you don’t develop inappropriate feelings for half-naked Manboys!)    

Hot Man Diet Foe of the Week:  Are you there God?  It’s me, Leah.  I have a favor to axe - please let all of the stuff that has o’ertaken my nasal passages be gone and soon!  Oh, to have fully functioning sinuses!  To have clear eyes and a normal colored nose!  Health!  Health!  My kingdom for some health!  I was not meant for this life…I’m the good times, good times girl.  I’m supposed to be out in the world, laughing and happy, vibrant and vivacious, legs slung over a barstool, eyes scouring the crowd, spotting Manjoyment, enjoying Manjoyment…damn these pajamas!  Damn this mug of tea!  Damn this Tylenol Cold for Severe Head Congestion…damn them all…must..sleep…



One Response

  1. miss gee Says:

    right. i need more women and children. more women and children please. this way please. keep order i say.

    oh guy-from-titanic. you did what you could. there were not enough boats. not enough by half.

    terrence howard has pretty eyes. but hasn’t he said some oddball things of late in interviews regarding his relationships with women?

    also, regarding george clooney, felled just this weekend in a crash in jersey…he’s ok. he’s ok. but heavens what a scare. sigh…(emoticons overwhelming, must close)…

    Get Well, HH! We love you!

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