May 28
The Hotness Begins… Posted by Leah

Why do you diet?

You diet because you have a goal, right? You have an impetus, a reason to change. Perhaps you want increased energy to help you keep up with your kids. Maybe you want help with shedding that freshman fifteen that turned into thirty when you graduated to an office and a desk and eight hours of sitting around moving nothing but your fingers. Or maybe you simply feel the need to adopt healthy eating habits in an effort to stymie the effects of Old Man Time. These are excellent reasons to go on a diet, grounded as they are in the ultimate belief that a healthy body leads to a healthy (and happy) life.

But these are not my reasons.

Why do I diet? Sure, I could sit here and give you some mumbo jumbo about health and wellness and all other sorts of hoohaa, but I’d prefer instead to be bluntly and brutally honest. I diet because I want a Hot Man.

Are you still there?

I am a woman. I am a woman in the midst of her sexual prime. I am also overweight. Pleasantly plump. Full-figured. Curvy. Call it what you want, but it means there is plenty of me to spare. It also means that for this woman in the midst of her sexual prime who happens to be pleasantly curvy and living in Los Angeles (a fact that is important for various and sundry reasons that will be illuminated in future entries, I promise), there are not enough Hot Men in my life. And that’s a problem.

But I have found a solution - a revolutionary weight loss program called Hot Man Diet!

How does it work? It is easy! Whenever you are faced with a food choice simply ask yourself, “Will eating this help me get a Hot Man?” If the answer is no, don’t eat it!

Scoff if you will, but trust me. Even if weight has been a lifelong issue, Hot Man Diet can (and will) work. It is a diet based solely on inspiration. Glorious, gorgeous, necessary inspiration. And for the first time ever you needn’t provide this inspiration yourself. You will find it elsewhere. You will find it in all of the lovely Hot Men that populate this earth. Let their handsome outsides be the light at the end of your tunnel. Let their muscled, toned exterior help you achieve the same. To hell with meetings and weigh-ins and measuring and no this and no that…Hot Man Diet is here to save you from yourself! Take a turn for the shallow and start looking for a few Hot Men!

I mean, look at this:

Daniel Craig

Daniel Craig in all his glory…why eat when there is such a man? That he exists, somewhere out there in the world, is enough to make me listen to all the bastards who tell me to eat 3-5 servings of vegetables a day, who insist that my constant desire for margaritas with chips and salsa be curbed (NOTE - I say curbed and not eliminated!).

And then there is this:

th_photo_derek_jeter.jpg

Derek Jeter, Hotness personified, perfection in pinstripes. Yeah, I think I could stand to have that salad with the dressing on the side, please!

th_11_big.jpg

Clooney! Aaah, I can’t take it. It’s time for a 45 minute power walk and an assload of crunches!

I’m done with cake and pizza and beer, glorious beer…these Hot Men are worth working for. I call these three my Original Trifecta of Hotness, and they will be my guiding light along this healthy trek, along with many other Hot Men who will be guest stars in my weight loss odyssey. Join me, won’t you, as I take on a lifetime of poor food choices and unhealthy habits so that someday I can call one of these Hot Men my own! I’ll be here every Monday to let you know how I’m doing. I’ll also check in throughout the week when inspiration (in the form of a Hot Man, natch) strikes. I’ve got a long way to go, but with Hot Man Diet on my side, I’ll make it!

See you next week…



14 Responses

  1. NoTORiou$ Says:

    I see hot man diet can work for the gays as well! Not only do I want to be with a hot man, I want to LOOK like one, too. Count me in and may the power of hotness guide you safely and quickly to your desired goals. (however, you already are a hot woman darling!)

  2. miss gee Says:

    you are hotness just as you are. but i shall hush up and herald the word of Hot Man Diet to all!

  3. Val (no cool nickname) Says:

    I am a firm believer in this diet, as I personally lost over 40 pounds whilst in search of a hot man! Unfortunately, now having found and kept one…I have gained all of the weight back. Will there be a ‘Stay Skinny for the Man’ sequel? Or, perhaps, once securing the hot man…it no longer matters?

  4. REX Says:

    Once the marriage certificate is signed and sealed it no longer matters. Except that if you set the standard low, that man might not stay so hot either. You decide!!!

  5. catia Says:

    go girl! love your choice of hot men, though my personal hottie thinks the contrary (you know his motto…dj sucks!). ok, i might not like the NYY as a team, but boy are they HOT!!! Hugs galore.

  6. Mar Says:

    Love it! I even saw that Bond movie several times just to watch that man walk out of the water! May I suggest the addition of Taye Diggs as your next hottie inspiration!
    Love ya!

  7. Anna Says:

    Sugar Pie-

    THIS is exactly why I’ve been thinking about you and MISSING YOU!!!

    xoxo-
    Anna

  8. kelly Says:

    I like it:) ooh la and la. SOOOO much better than that herbal s&^t! trying to contact you has been hard but now I see why with all these hot men:) xo luvs to you!

  9. Curious Says:

    Explain the “Make a Donation”…

    Somebody’s gotta pay for all this produce!

  10. tina tina bo bina Says:

    Hot man diet rocks!!! But remember you are alrealy hot. Do it for yourself, everything else is just a bonus.

    Luv ya,
    Tina

  11. megan Says:

    Why didn’t anyone tell me about the fabulousness that is this website? I love it.

    I didn’t mention it during my brief jaunt in NYC? Shame on me, SHAME! Welcome to my world, oh lovely one. Prepare to be Manspired!

    P.S. Glad you like it!

  12. Tiffani Says:

    Love your site…the premise is perfect.

    Thank you! It was definitely the best idea I’ve come up with in a while, save for Cocktails Across America (my tv show that follows me drinking cocktails across America…sublime brilliance at its alcoholic best!).

  13. Hot Man Diet » Blog Archive » The Hotness Begins Again Says:

    […] How The Hotness BeganMailing List Sep 08 The Hotness Begins Again Posted by Leah […]

  14. Hot Man Diet » Blog Archive » Operation Manspiration Says:

    […] How The Hotness BeganMailing List Sep 23 Operation Manspiration Posted by Leah […]

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