Feb 27

Do you see it?  Come closer.  Can you see it now?  It is a slate.  She’s holding a slate.  Oh, and what’s that she’s doing?  What?!  Oh no she didn’t!  She wiped it clean.  She wiped it clean…

HEY KIDS!!!!!!!! 

So, so, so totally unfair for me to show up for the first time in, what, like a gajillion months and then just calmly swoop in and wipe a slate clean and not at all explain what’s happened, where I’ve been, etc, etc, etc.  SO totally unfair!  But it’s my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!  Her Hotness is having a birthday!  And there are parties to tend to and Oscars to attend to and champagne to lend to my mouth and my innards and I’m stoked because it’s the Dirrrrrty Thirrrrty Seven and I feel GREAT and a month ago I wouldn’t have imagined I would feel this great would never have imagined it because everything was opposite quite the opposite but I feel effing MAN-tastic!!  So grab a glass of bubbles - I’m holding one, too - and let’s raise a cheer to 37 years of blooming in the noise of the whirlwind, to family and friends stepping up and swooping in when Her Hotness needed them most, to Anne Hathaway not annoying me too much during this evening’s festivities (she bugs, what can I say?)  But most of all let us toast to life, to love, and to NEW ENDEAVORS!!!  For Her Hotness has a new endeavor to endeavor…but more on that later…

Perhaps I should tell you all about the Great Fall of 2010?  Yes, I fear I must.  For it is in the telling that I will be able to truly let it go.  It will become but a mere story between friends, an anecdote to be happened upon years from now over coffee or wine, a trifling mistake made possible by the ignorance of youth.  Kids, the last time we spoke you will recall I was firmly ensconced in the home of my then RLHM, Real Life Hot Man.  Aaah, kids…as a wise prostitute once said, “big mistake.  Big.  HUGE.”  It was a Hot Mess from the get go.  No need for excessive details but suffice it to say the beginning of 2011 found me homeless, jobless, and manless.  There’s more.  I was also moneyless and confidenceless, two of the toughest things to ever face down individually, let alone in tandem.  Good times, good times.  So when I call it the Great Fall of 2010 I mean it both seasonally and verb-ularly.  It was the fall of my falling.  My failing.  My flailing.  But now is the winter of my discontent about to be made glorious summer…

Kids, if I could make a wish for you all it would be that you, too, had a Secret Weapon.  I have one, thank god I have one, and when the fall of my falling, failing, flailing occurred and I found myself bereft of home, I so luckily landed in the belly of the beast, so to speak.  When one is homeless and confidenceless, one needs a Secret Weapon.  I have one, thank god I have one, and it was her home I ran to when all was tossed and torn.  She took me in, stood me up, dusted me off and righted the wrongs of the Great Fall.  Ah kids, you should see me!  As I type this I feel searing pain in muscles I once had and now have again, I am having a special birthday morning workout because let’s face it - Dirrrty Thirrrty Seven requires a bit more maintenance, a lil more upkeep, a tad more pruning.  If you have to have a Great Fall of 2010, you must also make sure you have a Secret Weapon.  I have one.  Thank God I have one!   

So…what’s next on the agenda for Her Hotness?  Such wonderful things!!!!  Like I said, there is a new endeavor to endeavor…I can’t say too much right now…but it’s going to be awesome and great and so much fun…new things to talk about, new things to do…and so maybe Hot Manspiration takes a bit of a break…just a bit…because when one is Dirrrty Thirrrty Seven one realizes the truth of the matter…the absolute truth of the matter…Nothing tastes as good as a Hot ME feels!

A new journey.  The same Hotness.  Wanna join me?!  Next week is going to bring some MAJOR  changes…

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