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Feb 09
All The Single Ladies Posted by Leah

Week 87: up 1.5 pounds (-63 pounds total)  Aw nuts.  Nuts!  Okay, okay, okay…this too shall pass…mostly because I’m gonna make it pass…let’s work, it’s time for work, mama’s got some WORK to do! 

Hey ya’ll!  Good morning.  How was your weekend?  Am I forgiven for last week’s late showing?  I hope so. 

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about singlehood.  Yet I haven’t really talked about it much with you guys.  Not sure why, though I have my suspicions.  For one thing, I really don’t want to dilute HMD’s main purpose - the use of complete and unabashed adulation of Hot Men to further one’s health and wellness goals - with a bunch of mamby Hot Man Jon Hammpamby, Bridget Jones-esque diatribes about the plight of the single woman.  Hells no!  I an NOT that girl.  Don’t get me wrong.  I loved me some B.J.’s Diary.  Colin Firth and Hugh Grant together?  Pantydropper-accent bliss!  But that was that and this is Hot Man Diet.  HMD’s a whole ‘nother Oprah.

And so when I tell you that I want to give a shout out to all the single ladies (now put your hands up!) I need you to realize that I do NOT intend for this to be some kind of gynocentric, Lifetime Television for Women moment.  There are no drum circles, no vaginas, no monologues, no Herstory.  And I assure that at absolutely no moment, and this I swear on my life, at NO moment will there be scrapbooking.

No.  I want to give a shout out, a Hot Man Diet shout out, to all the single ladies (now put your hands up!) because there’s something I need to say that I haven’t said nearly enough  - YOU ARE HOT.  The boys, oy but I tell them all the danged time how much Manjoyment they bring me.  But you gals…I ignore ya.  My bad.  Guess what?  You’re Hot.  Y’are, y’are, y’are.  Hot Men, listen up.  It’s kind of rough being a single lady nowadays.  You guys, you’re all Mancandy, yummy and sticky and sweet, but us gals…we’re all soft parts and soft hearts just trying to make it through this world with fabulousness intact.  We’re putting ourselves out there on the line and online, willing, ready and open, checking all crazy neuroses at the door and bringing instead goodness and light - a warm smile, a friendly laugh, a flirty eye, a tender hand.  We’re SO worth it, aren’t we?  And yet…if only it were that easy.  If only… 

So I want to give a shout out to all the single ladies (now put your hands up!) because I am one of you.  And this week we just need a freaking pat on the back, don’t we?  Hot Man Jon HammActually, screw that.  Screw a pat on the back.  We’re not victims!  We’re not babies!  This shout out is for us because we rock!  We’re awesome.  We’re funny and caring and we can drink like sailors and cuss like schoolboys and we’re whip smart and wicked talented and we remember birthdays and we throw great parties and we have killer arm muscles and can quote Blazing Saddles and we make a mean creme brulee and the best damn coconut cupcakes you’ll ever, EVER, have in your life and we hurt and we help and we hear and we laugh and we listen and we love and we rock and we rock and we rock!!

Did I mention that we rock?

Hot Manspiration of the Week:  I know ya’ll have heard all the ranting and raving about AMC’s Mad Men.  It’s won umpteen awards and all kinds of praise and yet I’ve never seen it.  My loss, right?  ‘Cause when I tuned into my weekly Hour o’ Happiness (aka The Office and 30 Rock) there was a most Mantacular vision on my screen…besides some of the best laughs I had all week, 30 Rock provided Manspiration of the most divinely fine looks I have seen in quite some time…the Manttraction was immediate and intense, cheeks flushed, heart pounded, hands lunged for glasses so that eyes could drink in the Hotness…holy crap!…the Hotness.  Hot Man Dieteers, meet Jon Hamm.  Damn… 

Week 88: down 3 pounds (-66 pounds total!)

Good morning to all ya’ll out there in HMD land!  And how does this lovely day find you?  Many of you are off on vacay thanks to Presidents Lincoln and Washington.  Unfortunately, I am not.  Nope.  I gotsta put in my normal nine to five.  Booo!  Oh well.  That won’t stop me from bringing the Hotness, hells no!  Just think of me when you’re enjoying your afternoon nap…

So kids, lately I feel like I’ve been all “oooh look at me” and “oooh let’s talk about me”  and “oooh I have feelings I need to share” and “oooh snowboarding is hard” and “oooh my boobs are talking”.  It’s been nothing but me this and me that and me, for one, is sick of it!  I’m SO over me!  Thank god, thank god!, it’s time for another HMD R & D.  This is your moment in the sun, HMD’ers, your time to shine.  You request the Hot.  I bring the Hot.  You dedicate the Hot.  I bring the Hot.  Whatever ye ask, ye shall receive.  Consider me your Manspiration mule - Leah Full of Grace.  If you need the Manjoyment so help me god I’ll swallow the summamabitch, carry it over international waters and poo it into a bathtub for you, I love you that much!!

A bit o’ hyperbole to go with your morning coffee, to be sure…I shant shit anything into a bathtub EVER…but earnest feelings nonetheless.  Remember, if it weren’t for you guys I wouldn’t have been Manspired by the likes of Gerard Butler, Keanu Reeves, Scott Speedman, Hugh Jackman, Don Cheadle…I would have ne’er been introduced to Eduardo Verastegui or Sakis Rouvas or Kaká…you would have waited in breathless Manticipation for Michael Jordan, James McAvoy, Mark Ruffalo, Paul Rudd, Gael Garcia Bernal, Marvin Hot Man Troy PolamaluGaye…alls I’m saying is that I need your Hotness.  You help me help you.  And it helps me, too.  Brilliant.  Effing brilliant. 

(Take a Hot Trip down memory lane - treat yourself to an HMD R & D retrospective by clicking “Hot Man Diet Requests and Dedications” in the Categories section on the right.)

Our first request comes from S. in Los Angeles, though she originally hails from Pittsburgh, PA.  I’m sure that last point becomes painfully obvious when one sees her choice - “my boy Troy” a.k.a Troy Polamalu, strong safety for the Pittsburgh Steelers, 2009 Superbowl champs.  Yes, this is he of all the hair.  Apart from being one of the most generously coiffed pro-football players, Troy also has a reputation for being one of the nicest.  Add to this his mad skills on the field (I don’t know squat about football but I know an exciting athlete when I see one and no doubt Polamalu is one) and the clever Mean Joe Green commercial spoof and you have the first non-quarterback to make his way onto our fair site.  A major feat, considering my baseball-centric leanings.  But he deserves it.  Because he’s Hot.  Hair and all.

Our second shot o’ Hot is a dual request of sorts.  P. in Woodland Hills just recently sent me a request for Anderson Cooper via email, though it is with horror that I admit to Hot Man Anderson Cooperhaving received this same request from one of HMD’s closest family members, A. in NYC, ages ago!  For shame!  For shame!  I have flogged myself most heartily over this cruel oversight, believe me.  I would never want to ignore your pleas for Manspiration.  Especially when they come in such dapper form.  Anderson Cooper is Manificent - dignified, erudite, a silver fox with a twinkle in his eye and the best wardrobe on cable tv, all coolness and calm, able to get me Hot and bothered while delivering the stunningly bad news that seems to keep on coming (save for the gloriously wonderful results of our last election).  Complete and utter economic ruination never looked so good…

Last but not least we have our second ever real life HMD R & D.  You’ll remember when Hot Man Todd Kelmwe featured our first, my good friend Bones Rodriguez?  Well, the floodgates have opened and peeps are enthusiastically volunteering their Hot Men for Manspiration duty.  Case in point - I received an email last week from T. in Long Beach, “I hope you can access this picture of HOTMAN Todd.”  I opened the attachment.  Before me was a young gent, all buff and tan and ripped and wet and OH MY GOD THAT’S MY BOSS!!!  Seriously, that dude in the pic is Todd Kelm, my boss.  T. in Long Beach is Trina, one of my dearest friends, and she always, always, always, always raves about how Hot her hubby is/was/is (the is or was depends on how much wine we’ve had).  And so now I’m kind of freaked out because I have to, gulp, agree with her - dude is Hot.  I mean, this is him quite a while ago, certainly I’ve helped him add a margarita gut, but still…this is my boss…but still…pics don’t lie…Trina, this one’s for you!

Happy President’s Day!  I’ll see ya’ll next week! 

Help me help you help me - send your Requests and Dedications to herhotness@hotmandiet.com today!

Feb 23
A Quick Shot o’ Hotness Posted by Leah

Good morning, Hot Man Dieteers!  Kids, kids, kids…I’m wiped out.  It’s been a weekend, a long, fantastical, completely unexpected whirling dervish of a weeked, and I am spent.  You see, my birthday is this coming Friday, and in emotional preparation for what feels to me like a significant change (”mid-thirties” here I come!), I began the celebrating early.  Good times, good times with good peeps, including some delightfully new additions to the circle…I shant name drop, but I could if I wanted to…oh, I could if I wanted to…

Anyhoo, all of this is to say that I’m spent!  So this week’s gonna be different.  It’s gonna be special.  Because it’s my BIRTHDAY WEEK and I ‘m just getting BETTER WITH AGE and I’m, gulp, TOTALLY READY to hit the BIG 3-5 with HOTNESS INTACT, ready for MORE CHANGE, MORE CHANGE, MORE CHANGE!!!  At least, I think I am.  I will be after a cocktail.  Oh God…is this really happening to me?!?!?!? 

So meet me here this Friday morning for a birthday celebration, HMD-style.  It’ll be healthy (I will weigh in, don’t worry), it’ll be happy (let the big 3-5 bring me down?  Never!) and most importantly - IT WILL BE HOT!  I will be Hot!  35 won’t know what hit it! 

I can’t wait.  BRING IT!

(Is this really happening to me?!?!?!?!?)

See ya’ll then.  Have a Mantastic week!

Feb 27

Hot Man Daniel CraigWeek 89:  down 0 pounds (-66 pounds total!)

Hello everyone!  T.G.I.My Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for coming in and checking me out on this, the beginning of my 35th year.  I am tickled pink to be sharing another one with you kids, pleased as punch I say…if only you were in me house I’d bust out the mimosas…instead we’ll do this over miles of land and mugs of coffee…holy crap, holy crap, holy crap…I’m 35.

And you know what - I’m SO excited to be 35!  I’m cereal, totally cereal with this one.  I really am excited to be turning 35.  And I gave myself the best gift - I spent a very grueling pre-birthday week hitting workouts with my Secret Weapon every single day.  I had to.  Last weekend’s early celebration surely left a mark I was not willing to face without a fight.  But still… holy crap!  Who the hell do I think I am?  Oh right, I’m the 35 year old who rocks!  I rock!  Sorry kids, but the humble pie ‘taint a coming out today - I ROCK!  ‘Cause you know what - we’ve been together for what, almost going on two years now.  And in that short space of time I’ve changed…oh my, such change!…and right now I feel like I’m standing on a precipice…the unbearable Hot Man George Clooneylightness of my being is growing, glowing, pulsing, ready to explode forth onto the world like so much molten lava…all hot and fiery…so close, thisclose, so very close…the gifts I’ve given myself - health and wellness - combined with the gifts you’ve given me - love, support and accountability - the foundation has been laid for a lifetime of…well…good stuff.  Good friendships.  Good relationships.  Good career.  Good love.  Good times.  Good times.  Good me.

And I say this to you all today in complete sincerity - THANK YOU!  You’ve no idea how much all of this means to me.  Your active and enthusiastic participation in one of the most defining periods of my life means so much to me, more than I can begin to express, though I try try try.  It may just be your Monday morning pick-me-up, but I do not overstate things when I say it has been my salvation.  Thank you.

I’m getting all Oprah on you guys this morning, huh?  Maybe there were mimosas after all…

Anyhoo, before you go off to conquer the weekend and I go off to skip the light fantastic into my mid-thirties I have one last thing to say - stick with me, kids!  We’ve only just begun!  The journey continues apace, and I Manticipate great things ahead…Hot Man Derek Jeter

Hot Manspirations of My Birthday - Umm, yeah.  Umm, did ya think it’d be anyone else?  Umm, could you really imagine me trusting this moment to less than stellar hands?  Are ye crazy?!  Have ye gone mad?!  Hello!!  A gal only turns 35 once…a gal has to make the most of it…a gal needs her Manjoyment…a gal needs her Manspiration…a gal needs her Original Trifecta of Hotness!!!!  Daniel, George, Derek….Craig, Clooney, Jeter…Hot, Hotter, Hottest…hubba hubba…this is the best birthday ever!    

Mar 09

Week 90:  up 1.5 pounds (-64.5 pounds total!) 

Good morning, good morning, good morning!!  My beauties, my lovelies…THANK YOU!  Hot Man Clive OwenYou guys, I swear…you guys made my very special birthday HMD very special indeed…it was my most viewed entry EVER!!  In one day - one day - www.hotmandiet.com received over 11,000 hits!!!  Now I don’t know how that stacks up with other sites in terms of daily traffic, but it easily bested a previous HMD best by almost tenfold.  Holy crap!  How am I not making money off you kids?  How does Oprah not know about us yet?  Why is this revolution not televised?!?!?!?

So how do I repay you?  How do I reward you for your generosity and overwhelming displays of goodwill?  By disappearing.  By turning a blind eye to my bright, shining stars.  For shame, Her Hotness, for shame.  I keep doing this to you kids, huh?  Forgive me, please forgive me.  Life just got in the way.  Life just took over.  Life…and a boy…

OH NO SHE DIDN’T!!

Oh yes I did.  Hells yes I did.  Wouldn’t you?  Walk in my flip flops for a moment and see if you feel me…what if your mom was getting so anxious about the grandbabies that weren’t coming that she bought you a Match.com subscription as a part of your Christmas gift (The other part - a bra…Talent and Ambition are a demanding and expensive pair)…and what if that trepidatious foray into the brave new world of internet dating only left you feeling dazed and confused (Feeling good about yourself?  Have an ego that needs Hot Man Gavin Rossdalechecking?  Join Match.  That’ll take you down a peg or ten.  It sucks.  It sucks.  It sucks.  Okay, I’ll admit there were a few brief bright spots, but mostly it just sucked because it sucks, sucks, sucks…sorry Mom!)…and what if during that time, that time when you were horrified to learn you only attract the elderly or the indigent or the psychotic (or the handicapped, but that’s a whole ‘nother story), what if during that time a friend of yours sets you up on a kinda sorta blind date (my first set up ever!)…and what if you and the kinda sorta blind date kinda sorta hit it off…and what if thus far he did all the rights things and said all the right things and just was all the right things and you were super excited to see how this all might play out…and what if this boy, through equal parts generosity, politeness, terror and wait-what-EXACTLY-is-this-blog-about-ness, promised you that he would never read it (save for the five best entries that you will show him at some later date so that he can get a taste of just how fabulous you are), thus leaving you free to share, uncensored, the story of this kinda sorta wonderful, amazing, fantastic new thing that’s come into your life…what if all of this happened to you?  Would you rather sit in front of a computer to write about some far away, fantasy Hot Man or would you rather have an actual Hot Man cook you dinner, a smack-yo-mama good dinner, and yes there was probably an entire stick of butter in that sauce that went over that smoked salmon but who cares who cares who cares, he’s smart and kind and good people AND he makes a killer beurre blanc sauce…holy crap!…which would you rather do?

I thought so.Hot Man Gerard Butler

Hot Manspirations of the Week:  That being said, mama still needs herself some Mancandy.  I need it big time.  I am bewitched, bothered and bewildered…so out of focus and off schedule…I need to be Manspired!!  

I’m pulling off a major coup d’Hot - three men, three accents, three Mantastic reasons to work it, work it, work it!  All have been here before, but who cares?  This is NO time for newbies…there’s some serious shit to do!  Clive Owen - Mantacular!  Gavin Rossdale - Manjoyment!  And Gerard, oh Gerard…can I call you Gerry?   Gerry, Gerry, Gerry…ya should have been in my birthday HMD…you’re the adjunct fourth member of the Original Trifecta of Hotness and I totally forsook you…you should punish me…maybe a spanking… 

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