Week 66:  Um…yeah…

Happy Labor Day, kids!  Happy Monday off!  Happy three day weekend!  Woo hoo!

Hot Man Dieteers, can we talk for a sec?  Really talk?  Tell you what - go grab your cup of coffee.  I’ll go and get my second cup of joe and we’ll meet back here in a minute, mmkay?

Ready?

Aw hell, kids, I’ve got all kinds of thoughts swirling in my head this morning.  My mind has been laboring, kids, working, working, working on things, working things out, working, working, oy!  Ya’ll, the shit has hit the fan.  The way I’ve been acting lately…well, it is full of shit and it is weighing me down, physically and emotionally.  It’s bullshit.  Horseshit.  I am not trying to beat myself up here, I’m just trying to call a spade a spade.  And this spade says that the time has come to shit or get off the pot.  The time has COME!  I can’t continue to give in to my weakness.  I can’t continue to accept less than because less than is easy and not scary.  Speaking of less than, in less than six months Her Hotness will be hitting the big 3-5.  Holy shit!  I cannot, will not, should not go gentle into that good night.  Hells no!  Shit has to change, and the change must come NOW.

(Sometimes inspiration comes from a Hot Man.  Sometimes it also comes from a major milestone birthday.  35!  Me 35!?!?  How did that happen?!?!?  Why God, why?!?!)

And so I come to you all this fine Labor Day morning with some resolutions.  That’s right.  I’ve got a plan of attack.  I’m not just gonna sit here and blabber on about Things I Want From Life, no, no, no.  I’m coming to you guys with a game plan.  You ready?  I sure as hell am!

Resolved -  Her Hotness shall take a brief hiatus from men. 

No, that doesn’t mean I’ve decided to bat for the other team.  It means that the boy craziness that has been an unhealthy offshoot of Hot Manspiration must needs come to an end.  HMD’ers, I’ve been on the prowl like a mo fo.  I’ll force myself to go out when I really don’t want to.  I’ll force myself to stay out longer and drink more than I want to.  I’ll force myself be more American than I want to, all in the alleged name of Hot Manspiration.  Whaa??  How dare I sully the good name of Hot Manspiration in such a way?!?  Hot Manspiration is a glory, a wonder, the use of beauty to attain beauty.  Hot Manspiration is NOT an excuse to slobber over every Tom, Dick and Harry that trots his hot self in front of Her Hotness!  No!  And so I must rescue Hot Manspiration from the evil clutches of my own libido.  No more Poor Boy Choices.  Let’s see if I can get from here until Christmas solely on the strength of Hot Manspiration From Afar.  I need to clear my head and focus on the State of Leah, and that is so hard to do when one is under the influence of men.  Seriously.  (When I told two of my friends about this yesterday they laughed at me…apparently me without men for four months seems impossible…I know, I know, you’re probably laughing, too.  But a girl can try, can’t she?  Although four months is LOOOONG time…damn!)  Don’t worry - I’m not taking the Hot Man out of Hot Man Diet…I’m just taking the Hot Man out of my bedroom for a little while.  I can do this…right?

Resolved - Her Hotness shall take a brief hiatus from hooch.

We all know that the hooch and I have a love/hate relationship.  I love it, but I hate what it does to my hips.  I love it, but I hate when I lose entire days to hangovers.  I love it, but I hate what it does to my resolve and good judgement.  I love it, but I hate what it does to my wallet.  And so it must be curbed.  Gotta pull the reins in.  Gotta take this bull by the horn.  Gotta re-institute the Weekday Wagon.  Gotta.  Monday through Thursday is now virgin territory for Her Hotness.  Why?  Cause something’s gotta give. 

Resolved - Her Hotness shall take a brief haitus from fear.

Oooh, that’s deep, isn’t it?  Yeah, this one pertains to everything else going down in my life.  This is The Big One.  This is the one that really has me freaking out about turning 35.  This is the one that keeps me up at night.  This is the one that has completely corrupted and compromised my career path.  This is the one that MUST CHANGE.  This is the one that is scary. 

Funny thing is, this is also the one I’ve already begun to conquer.  Think about it - I’ve lost almost 60 pounds in a year and two months, and I’ve done it in the most public way possible!  I’ve put it all out there for you to read and discuss and judge, and that is terrifying as hell!  I’ve talked to you about everything from boy bands to baseball to blowjobs, let you in on my secrets and lies, told you things I thought I’d never discuss with anyone who wasn’t my therapist!  I’ve opened myself up to you all, been vulnerable as hell and for what?  For some of the greatest weight loss success of my life, that’s what!  So why not crack the shell wide open?  Why not throw caution to the wind completely?  Why not go balls out and make this one count for something?  Why the hell not?!? 

Inside my head there lives a dream that I want to see in the sun
Behind my eyes there lives a me that I’ve been hiding for much too long
‘Cause I’ve been too afraid to let it show
‘Cause I’m scared of the judgment that may follow
Always putting off my living for tomorrow
It’s time to step out on faith, I’ve gotta show my face
It’s been elusive for so long, but freedom is mine today
I’ve gotta step out on faith, It’s time to show my face
Procrastination had me down but look what I have found, I found
Strength, courage, and wisdom
It’s been inside of me all along

 - India.Arie

Hot Manspirations of the Week:  Just because I can’t touch doesn’t mean I can’t look!  It doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy!  As a reward for putting up with me and all my Life Plans, I’m trotting out some serious Mancandy…the all-time, best of the best Hot Man Diet shirtless pics.  We’ve got Becks, we’ve got Lenny.  We’ve got Boris Kodjoe, Eduardo Verastegui and Pauls Walker and Newman.  To round out the Manificence we’ve got Orginal Trifecta of Hotness member Craig, Daniel Craig.  Labor Day never seemed less laborious!  Being half-nude never looked so good!  Hot Manspiration From Afar never felt so fantastic!  Manjoy it!

Week 67:  down 0 pounds (-58 pounds total!)  Hola ya’ll!  The numbers to my left may not seem like much on an accomplishment, but I’m actually quite pleased.  Remember, I didn’t weigh in last week because I knew, KNEW, the results would be baaaaaad.  So I’m sure I lost whate’er it was that I gained during all of my pre-Labor day festivities.  And that’s just fine with me! 

Hot Man Dieteers, how the heck are ya?  I hope this Monday morning finds you healthy, happy and wise, with a skip in your step and a smile on your face.  May your cup of joe be brewed to perfection.  May your commute be nary but a simple jaunt.  May your workday be short, sweet and to the point.  May your day be a breeze!

I know, I know…I’m in a crazy good mood this morning!  Not sure why, except to say that I’ve been thinking a lot about you guys this week.  I’m totally cereal.  I’ve been thinking about you and about HMD and about the heavy stuff I’ve been writing about recently, and I’ve decided to back off a bit.  It goes against my nature to be morose.  I set myself up for failure when I pressure myself to be something I’m not.  I’m not the girl who wants to sit here and and discuss why life is hard and choices are hard and losing weight is hard!  If I wanted to do that crap I could’ve joined Weight Watchers, and BELIEVE ME when I say I’m NOT the girl who wants to join Weight Watchers!!! 

So who am I?  Aw hell, kids, don’t ya know by now that I’m good times, good times?!  I thrive in good times.  I succeed in good times.  I operate best when I operate with joy!  And that’s what I’ve been missing lately - JOY!  I’ve been reading Julia Child’s My Life In France, and apart from being hugely inspirational to someone six months away from turning 35 (America’s greatest culinary star took her first cooking class at age 37!!), it also pulsates with the passion and joy and unbridled enthusiasm she brought to her life’s work.  How lucky, to find something that one loves so much…how lucky, indeed!

How lucky for me, then, to have found Hot Man Diet.  What a kooky idea!  What a crazy concept!  What a DIFFERENCE MAKER!  You try losing 60 pounds using little more than Hot Manspiration (and a Secret Weapon)…

And so I must revisit something I wrote last week.  I fear I may have, in the estimable words of Jon Bon Jovi, given love a bad name.  I certainly gave Hot Men a bad name.  And I gave myself an impossible task, an unnecessary task, in demanding that I take myself out of the company of men for the next four months.  Whaa?!  Stupid, stupid, dumb and stupid…clearly it wasn’t the right thing for me to do because the second I wrote it, the second I put it out there, I got sad.  Super bummed.  It set me off on a mini-depression that did little to help me out, food-wise. 

Ya’ll, I LOVE men!  I love them!  Even the Poor Boy Choices I’ve made, and there have been quite a few, each of them started out with some good times, good times.  Besides, do you relegate them all to the back burner just because a few of them left a bad taste in your mouth?  Do you bench Derek Jeter just because Alex Rodriguez is in a slump?  (Blasted, stupid, stinking, effing A-Rod!)  You would NEVER do that!  That’s the moment when you need Derek Jeter the MOST!  (I need Derek Jeter the most…mmmhhhmm…nothing sweeter…) 

So let’s hear it for the boys!  Let’s hear it for my babies!  Let’s hear it for the Jeters and Clooneys and Craigs and Butlers, for the McConaugheys and Walkers and Diggs and Depps!  Let’s hear it for Hot Manspiration, glorious, wonderful Hot Manspiration!  Boys, dang it all if you haven’t burrowed your way into my heart and made yourself a permanent bed there.  In you I have found my Hotter purpose…I cannot forsake you!  (Especially since I met the absolute perfect specimen of Hot Manspiration in the flesh last week…perfect in so many ways…achingly good looking, immaculately dressed, incredibly smart and polite and genuinely nice…and yes, of course he’s married…and no, I won’t do anything to change that…but a girl can dream can’t she?  It’s been so long since I’ve seen such powerful Hot Manspiration in person…all of this, ALL of this is worth it just to know there IS such a man…that such a man might someday be mine…ohhh…ohhh…bring on the week!  I’m ready for some good food choices!  I’m ready for some kick ass workouts!  I am Manspired!  BRING IT!) 

Hot Manspirations of the Week:  Kids, I don’t know what I would have done this week if it weren’t for Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.  I might have slit my wrists!  I might have finally packed it in and headed back to England.  (I have a working theory that I was a British gent in a past life.  Why British?  I dunno.  Why gent?  Again, I dunno.  Oh, and I think I was gay.  It’s a theory.)  Instead, I made it through this week, this excrutiating week of snide speeches from a smug hockey mom turned VP disaster, “small town values” (what, people in big cities are all immoral assholes?!), “Bristol’s choice” and the revelation of the country’s newest terrorist threat - community organizers…I made it through the mind-numbing, jaw-dropping monstrosity that was the Republican National Convention ONLY because of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, who were nothing short of BRILLIANT during this, the week that we needed them the most.  Thank god for you, Jon Stewart, and your band of merry reporters (you ever need a black woman on your staff you call me, mmkay?!).  You’ve Manspired me before, yet the gut busting laughs and painfully hilarious truths continue to flow forth like so much “elite, East Coast” lava.  Keep it coming!  Thank god for you, Stephen Colbert, and your sharpest of sharp tongues.  You really have turned into the best interviewer on television, and this is coming from a woman who has a long standing crush on Matt Lauer!  Aaah, the Manjoyment this election season shall bring…it’s positively Mantastic!  Let’s hear it for these boys!

Week 68:  down 1.5 pounds (-59.5 pounds total!)

*** New Stat!  New Stat! ***  Yes, kids, I am slowly crawling my way back home, slowly but surely.  And I have another reason to be optimistic - my Secret Weapon took my measurements last Thursday, and in the past two months I have lost 7 inches.   7 inches!!  During that same timespan I had very little weight loss.  But major inches melted away.  Holy crap!  Three things to take away from all of this: 1) I must remember that muscle is denser than fat, though they both weigh the same.  So I’m getting smaller even though I weigh the same because I am losing volume as I turn my fat into muscle, 2) While I may not be doing everything right (weekday wagon = super hard!), I am clearly doing something right, and 3) yes - INCHES DO MATTER!!! 

Aaah, 7 inches…a most satisfying amount, wouldn’t you say?  (tee hee)

(Another staggering stat - we’ve been taking my measurements since January.  To date I have lost 26 inches total!!  That’s over two feet!  Two feet of me is GONE!  And again, that’s starting in January 2008, when I was already 7 months deep in Hot Man Diet and one pants and two shirt sizes down.  Holy crap!)

So today I am here to officially announce the reinvention of Hot Man Diet.  I’m gonna whip this puppy into shape, kids.  I got big plans and big ideas, so if you know anything about websites or blogs or marketing be prepared to hear from me.  I’m going to spend the next month revamping my beloved HMD so that we…hell, so that we can take take over the world!  I know there are plenty of peeps out there wanting a change, needing a change, craving a change.  They’ve eaten themselves out of their own lives, anesthetized themselves with food, de-sexualized themselves to turn their once lovely lady parts into no man’s land.  I know because I was one of them.  I want to create a community, a space for us to reclaim our bodies and our sexuality and our Hotness.  A place where women will delight in being women and a place where women (and men, I don’t discriminate!) will delight in men.  A place where Hot Manspiration reigns supreme! 

There are so many reasons for us to make the change and yet so few of us actually do…maybe more people oughta know that nothing tastes as good as a Hot Man feels.  Maybe that would help.  Let’s do it!  Who’s with me?

Today I’d like to unveil my first new feature.  You guys have heard about my Secret Weapon for months now.  I praise her name again and again because she has given me so much valuable information and so many quality tools that I know without a doubt I wouldn’t have lost 60 pounds and 26 inches without her.  (She also continues to kick my butt twice a week, hence the fat turning into smoking Hot muscle…you guys should see my arms!  If you live in the LA area and want someone to come and whip your ass into shape just let me know and I’ll make it happen.)  My Secret Weapon is a whiz with food.  She eats more vegetables than just about anyone I’ve ever met, and she does exceptionally delicious things with them.  No boring salads or steamed veggies here, oh hells no!  So I’m sharing the wealth, spreading the knowledge and giving you guys some of the best from one the best - recipes and food facts from my Secret Weapon to you.  Use them.  Manjoy them. 

From the Arsenal of My Secret Weapon

Pomegranates

The juice gets all the hype for being healthy, but pomegranate seeds deserve their own spotlight. In addition to being loaded with folate and disease-fighting antioxidants, they’re low in calories and high in fiber, so they satisfy your sweet tooth without blowing your diet.

Olive Oil

Like avocados, olive oil has healthy fat that increases satiety, taming your appetite. But that’s hardly its only slimming feature.  Olive oil has also been known to have anti-inflammatory properties.  Chronic inflammation in the body is linked to metabolic syndrome.

Quinoa

Curbing hunger is as easy as piling your plate with this whole grain. It packs both fiber (2.6 grams per 1/2 cup) and protein, a stellar nutrient combo that can keep you satisfied for hours. 

Almonds

Provides protein, fiber, riboflavin, calcium, zinc, iron, vitamin E, unsaturated fats.

Eat more

Serve quinoa instead of rice with stir-fries or try it for a side dish: Cook 1/2 cup quinoa in 2/3 cup water and 1/3 cup orange juice for 15 minutes. Mix with 3 TBL pomegranate seeds and 2 TBL chopped almonds.

Hot Manspirations of the Week:  Kids, the new tv season is upon us.  And while I am not one to typically condone gobs and gobs of boob tube time, there’s no denying that it can oftentimes be an easy and potent way to channel Hot Manspiration directly into one’s home.  How many of our Hot Manspirations of Weeks past are tv regulars?!  Taye Diggs, John Krasinski, Matthew Fox, John Stamos…the list goes on.  I’m already a HUGE fan of The Mentalist, even though I’ve never seen a freaking episode.  Any show that gives me Simon Baker on a weekly basis has me, just has me…he could be reading the telephone book and he’d still have me!  And then there’s Fringe, a show that looks like exactly what I DON’T watch…oooh, but I’ll still be watching, because Joshua Jackson is in it and Joshhua Jackson is Manificent.  What the hell happened to Pacey, kids?  Oh, how this Mighty Duck has fallen…into smoking, stinking, serious Hotness!  

Also, I went to see Vicky Christina Barcelona this past weekend and I could not, COULD NOT, let a Javier Bardem movie go unnoticed.  This is the third time he’s hit Hot Manspiration of the Week status…every time I see him he hits Hot Manspiration of the Week status…his sexiness is off the hook, just off the effing hook.  Damn!

Week 69: down .5 pound (-60 pounds total!)

Good morning, good morning, good morning!  Aaah Monday…you just keep coming.  And always too soon. 

Kids, I must beg your patience for a spell.  Her Hotness had a busy weekend and required much quality time with her bed this morning, thus preventing her from completing today’s entry.  Go forth and enjoy your day and check back with me tonight.  (With a glass of wine, perhaps, or a hot cup of tea.  I’ve become ever so fond of an evening hot tea.  I like to think of it as me becoming more sophisticated, but I suspect it is really just me getting old.  Great.)  I’ll have it ready for you, with Hot Manspiration galore all wrapped in a bow and ready for your evening Manjoyment.  See ya then, kids.  See ya then! 

Tonight, tonight, won’t be just any night.  Tonight there will be Hotness all around!  

….I’m back, kiddies.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for waiting! 

Aw nuts, guys, I should have written this entry this morning.  ‘Cause now I’m at the tail end of one of the shittiest Mondays I’ve had in quite some time, and I’m finding it damn near impossible to bring in ‘da noise or bring in ‘da funk.  I’m just IN a funk.  Crap.  Damn.  Where’s the wine?

You know what - screw the wine.  Screw the wine!  Hows about this time I let Hot Manspiration see me through?!  Hows about I actually USE the main tenet upon which this whole endeavor was partooken?  (NOT a word, I know, but kinda fun to say and so I’m saying it!)  Oh, Hot Manspiration, save me!  Save me from this manic Monday!  Save me from myself, particularly that part of my self that wants nothing more than to dive headfirst from a salt-rimmed glass into a limey, tequila soaked heaven!  Oh, Hot Manspiration - you were the best idea I’ve ever had!!!  You continue to be the best mark I have made upon this world.  If all I leave upon my gracious exit into the afterlife is you, I shall hold my head high where’er it takes it’s final  rest.  Hot Manspiration…so simple, so sublime, so perfect.  So true.     

hot  (hot) adjective - having or giving off heat

man (man) noun - an adult male person

inspiration (in-spuh-rey-shuhn) noun - a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul

courtesy of dictionary.com

Hot Manspiration (hot man-spuh-rey-shuhn) noun - an adult male person who, in the process of having or giving off heat exerts a divine influence directly and immediately upon the mind, soul and BODY!

courtesy of Her Hotness

Perhaps one way to illustrate Hot Manspiration in action is to show it’s opposite.  To wit - I challenge you to go into a McDonald’s, any McDonalds, at any time of day.  Look around you.  Amidst the neon haze, see if you spot any Hotness.  You will not!  I PROMISE you, you will not!  You will see nothing to tear you away from the deep-fried, greasy offerings those blasted golden arches are known for.  Instead, you will quickly and easily fall prey to the worst of the worst, for fast food is the absolute enemy of dietary health, it really is.  (I have tried this trick myself several times, as I am attempting to rid my life of fast food once and for all.  I tell myself that if I walk into the McDonald’s and see any Hotness whatsoever I am allowed to order and eat whatever it is I am craving.  But no Hot, no food.  Walk out the door and move on with my life.  Each time I have used this trick - each time! - I have had to leave the premises sans my desired Filet o’ Fish sandwich.  There’s never any Hotness!!)

In keeping with the Hot Man Diet Rules of Three (all good things come in threes, as evidenced by the father, son and holy spirit of Manspiration, aka my Original Trifecta of Hotness - Derek Jeter, George Clooney, Daniel Craig), there are three main components of effective Hot Manspiration.  We’ve discussed them before, but a review ne’er hurt nobody.  They are:

1) Talent -  Take a man, any man.  Give him an extraordinary skill.  Give him exceptional ability.  Give him the means to showcase said skill and ability.  Sit back and enjoy the Manspiration.  Talent turns a good looking man into a Hot Manspiration.  Take Jeffrey Wright.  He’s a character actor from the old school, the kind of man who is in every movie but is by no means a movie star (and that’s probably how he prefers it).  This man is a brilliant actor.  Brilliant!  Rent Basquiat or Lackawanna Blues and see if you can disagree with me.  Anyhoo, this brilliant man, this character actor from the old school, well…he moves me.  He inspires me.  He Manspires me with his talent.  He’s good looking, to be sure.  But his skills, his ability…to me they make him super smoking uber Hot! 

2) Strength -  I’m talking strength of character here, as physical prowess plays a surprisingly small role in the world of Hot Manspiration.  Muscles are nice and all, don’t get a sister wrong, but this category in particular has nothing to do with the outside and everything to do with the inside.  I’m talking about someone as honorable and exceptional and smart and dignified and commanding as Barack Obama.  I’m talking about the fervent passion that he has inspired, Manspired, in so many Americans this election season.  I’m talking about a politician who just might, gasp, live up to the hype and deliver on his word!  I’m talking about a groundbreaking human being whose historic rise may just be the very thing this country needs right now - a leader who will take us from our past and catapult us into the future .  In the esteemed words of Salt and/or Pepa, what a man, what a man, what a mighty, mighty good man!

3) Eye Candy-ness -  Now, this one is ALL about the physical.  The hubba hubba factor.  The melt in your mouth, not in your hands kind of Manttraction.  And I totally had someone else in mind to highlight, but I can’t get past Paul Walker.  Poor Paul Walker!  He was, is and always will be my quintessential example of eye candy-ness.  He’s beautiful, the kind of man girls dream of in their teens, date in their twenties, and dream of again in their thirties.  He’s yummy.  He’s delicious.  He’s definitely something you’d rather have for dinner over Mickey D’s, no doubt about it.  And though he may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, he’s still one you’d love to Manhandle.  Let him hit your nail with his head…cardio is cardio is cardio, people!  Doesn’t matter how you get your heart rate up, just so long as you do so at least three times a week for 30 minutes a pop.  Aerobic activity never looked so good!

So that’s Hot Manspiration in a nutshell.  It’s what keeps me going, keeps me focused, keeps me honest and keeps me on track.  I’m using their Hotness to achieve my Hotness so I can perhaps enjoy their Hotness on a much more intimate level.  (I can dream, can’t I?!)  Because you know what?  I can’t do this alone.  I’ve never been able to do this alone.  It takes a village.  A village of Hotties. 

And who doesn’t want to live in a village of Hotties?!?!?

Week 70: down .5 pound (-60.5 pounds total!)

Hola chitlins!  How does this morning find ya’ll?  I myself am beat to pete and must needs reconvene this Hotness party after my (hopefully good, hopefully swift) workday.  I’ve got a bittersweet entry for ya, kids, as you may well tell from the title.  We lost one of our best Hot Men this past weekend, one of the greatest, most stellar examples of Hot Manspiration in action.  So go and make your way through this Monday and we’ll meet back here this evening, me with my tea (I’m coming down with something, kids, oy!) and you with your drink o’choice.  If it has to be stiff, it has to be stiff.  It’s Monday…I understand!

‘Till then…

…and we’re back.

Paul Newman.  Paul.  Newman.  Why?  God.  Why?!

Yes, yes, he lived a long, seemingly full life.  He was one-half of Hollywood’s most (only?) enduring marriage.  He leaves behind a legacy of civic-mindedness that is nothing short of awe inspiring.  He also leaves behind a film career that spanned the ages yet still left us panting for more.  He was one of the best in a town full of people clamoring to be The Best, and he outshone them all.  He was unbelievably and undeniably gut wrenching, breathtaking, earth shatteringly HOT.  He was simply Paul.  Paul Newman.  (Why God, why?!?)

That such a man could exist….isn’t it enough for us to know that such a man could exist?!  Isn’t it enough to keep the sweets at bay?  Isn’t it enough to keep the drinks at bay?  Seriously, think about the possibility…somewhere in America, approximately 83 years ago, two regular, normal, everyday married folk got a little frisky one night and combined, perhaps out of some celestial design, all of the necessary parts and juices to create one of the absolute most drop dead male figures this earth has ever seen!  If it happened once surely it can happen again!  Maybe this time it happened, oh, I dunno, anywhere from 33 to 37 years ago…and maybe this time this man, this man of unparalleled, unequaled beauty, maybe this time this man is wandering the streets near you…and maybe this time this gut wrenching, breathtaking, earth shatteringly HOT man will spot you and notice you and talk to you…and when that happens, because maybe this time it could, when that happens do you want to be on the flabby, floppy, big assed end of a love affair with burgers, burritos and beer?  Or do you want to be 70 weeks into a body changing, energy boosting, confidence building way of life that has you 60 pounds lighter and 26 inches smaller?  Hmm, seems so SIMPLE now, doesn’t it?  The choice is OBVIOUS now, isn’t it?  The benefits are CRYSTAL EFFING CLEAR now, aren’t they?  And the reward…ahhh, the reward…it’s really WORTH IT now, isn’t it?! 

These men, these men of exceptional quality, they don’t come around all the time.  We’d be foolish to think so.  True Hot Manspiration doesn’t fall off the trees like so much dried fruit.  No, no, no!  It’s rare.  It’s occasional.  It’s complete and utter luck, actually meeting an available (and straight) Hot Manspiration.  And when it happens, if it happens, you gotta think about what it is that you’re bringing to the table.  Because maybe this time…maybe this time he is supposed to be yours.  Don’t you want to be ready for him?!

I DO!

Goodbye Paul!  We miss you!