Week 36:  down 5.5 pounds (-29.5 pounds total!)  Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap!

And so it is that a post-Superbowl country struggles to wake itself up…

Good morning Hot Man Dieteers!!  I am awake and perky and all wide-eyed and bushy tailed, for this has been a week of comebacks for everyone.  I am sitting here feeling like It on a Stick, completely tickled pink with the outcome of my hardest, most emotional and most difficult week of this entire journey.  This was a do or die week, the kind that either makes the tough tougher or sends the weak home.  Apparently, I’m tough!  Who’da thunk it?!?  (I did, I did!)

And now I’m back with a vengeance, focused and determined.  I can begin to see cheekbones that haven’t emerged in years, it’s time to buy a smaller pair of jeans, and my belts are laughably unusable…what’s even more important is the change taking place in my spirit and mind, and yes - I’m about to get seriously Oprah on ya’ll, but you cannot deny that in order for anyone to make this monumental change it must be holistic…the mind, body and soul have to work together and change together…I think I’ve been so emotional because I’ve been slowly saying goodbye to the person I’ve been my entire life, and that is the hardest part of all, believe me!  I’m letting go of the unhappy, overweight teenage girl that became the slightly happier but still overweight woman that’s stuck around for far too long…for heaven’s sake, it is time to get rid of that woman!  It’s time to let the Hottie in me be free!  Be free, Hottie, be FREE!!!

(I also have a Secret Weapon that I shant divulge until next week, in large part because it deserves so much more than what my post-Superbowl (i.e. compromised) self can deliver….you shall have to tune in to find out!)

One last note before I exit stage left - my regular Thursday editions are taking a sabbatical…I am devoting ever more increasing hours to working out and seeing as how I already have two jobs on top of that (I’m very Jamaican right now) I need to lighten my load a bit…of course I’ll still be here every Monday, but the only Thursday night specials we’re gonna have for a while are my monthly Requests and Dedications…unless I’m feeling frisky and decide to whip out a Hot Cops…tee hee, I said whip out…

The time has definitely come for change.  (Obama for President!)  Sometimes it isn’t enough to be what you’ve been all year, even if what you’ve been all year has thus far been perfect… 

Sometimes you have to dig a bit deeper, and it might not be pretty, it might not be nearly as glamorous, it might not have the impeccable bone structure and kissable lips, might not have the supermodel girlfriend or the ass that won’t quit, but sometimes it takes more than the sum of one season to make someone a champion, to make someone my ever so unlikely…

Hot Manspiration of the Week:  Sometimes, all it takes is guts.  Congrats, Eli.  You did it.  God bless the underdog! 

This is the “Holy crap, is it REALLY Monday morning?!?!” abridged version of Her Hotness’ Weekly Speak…I wanted to at least give a quick HMD shout out to let ya’ll know my progress, but today’s actual entry shant arrive until later tonight…think of it as me spreading the wealth…note to self - DON’T plan Sunday afternoon parties because they inevitably lead to Sunday evening hoochfests that make for a mean Monday morning…I’m downing some seriously strong coffee and looking at my ravaged kitchen and the many empty champagne bottles now littering my once pristine countertops…oy!…but my god, I do so LOVE a party!!!!  Good times, good times… 

Week 37:  down 1 pound (-30.5 pounds total!)

I’ll holla at ya’ll later, I promise.  In the meantime, here’s some Mancandy for your eyes to fondle.  Enjoy!

(Aaah, Paul Walker…ours is SUCH a dysfunctional relationship…I speak so ill of you and yet I drool whene’er your unreal visage appears, my knees get weak and I thank the heavens above for you…and on this morning, this headache fueled, achingly weary, post-party depression Monday morning, you were the Hot Man I wanted…nay, NEEDED…so don’t be too mad, mmkay?  Cause you are, in spite of it all, one of Her Hotness’ faves.  Let’s make out.)

Let’s try this again…

Week 37:  down 1 pound (-30.5 pounds total!)

Now that I am of sound body and mind, let us proceed apace to our Hotter purpose.  I mentioned last week that I have a Secret Weapon.  I know you’re all chomping at the bit for the reveal, but first a little background. 

HMD’ers, my dear, lovely HMD’ers, Her Hotness is working uber-hard for ya’ll.  I want so much to be a major source of inspiration for each of you, your own personal Hot Womanspiration.  I don’t want to be another grim statistic.  I want to be a freaking success story!!  And for as much as I want to just dig deep and tough it out, for as much as I believe in the American-ness of finding some inner gumption to pull oneself to victory, the fact of the matter is alarmingly clear - there is no way IN HELL I’m gonna be able to do this alone! 

(Don’t cry for me, HMD’ers…I know you are always with me…well, at least every Monday during the first ten minutes of work…and I adore you and wrap myself in the cashmere sweater of your love, but alas and alack ’tis not enough…the mountain is too high, the valley is too low, the ass is too wide…Her Hotness needs more than your bloglove, more than your webwarmth…it’s not you, it’s me…)

And thus, a Secret Weapon was born.  In the Secret-esque way that many parts of my life have played out lately, I asked for and was given EXACTLY what I needed.  Oprah has Bob Greene, the Biggest Losers have Jillian and Bob, and I have Eileen.

Come on, Eileen!

(I had to do it.  Sorry.)

If I could give you all a gift, I would give you each an Eileen.  I started working out with her around the middle of December when the prospect of Seasons Eatings was sending me into a state of frenzy and fury.  We meet once a week and she gives me homework tailored to my house and hardware.  She kicks my ass!  Even as I write this, parts of my body that I thought only existed in theory are thumping with pain, still recovering from a post-work workout with my Secret Weapon.  The best part - she’s just as invested in this as I am.  How lucky am I?!?!?!?  When we’re in the midst of a really tough part of our session, when I’m starting to a) wonder if it is all really worth it (it is, it is!) and b) convince myself I’m gonna have a coronary, she has the brilliance to utter the name Gerard Butler, giving Hot Manspiration a BRILLIANT and practical use I had sadly, woefully overlooked.  (I’ve actually decided that Derek Jeter is a better name to say when the going gets particularly tough…it’s got those great consonants that you can use to slice through the pain…ooooh, that’s deep - I used my words to slice through the pain.  You guys can totally borrow that one if you wanna…)

Anyhoo, I just wanted to be completely honest and forthright with all HMD goings on.  You may have wondered how someone could lose the 5.5 pounds I lost last week.  I needed to tell you how.  I get physical.  Very, VERY physical.  With a woman.  How Hot is that?!

Come on, Eileen!

(I couldn’t resist!)

Hot Manspirations of the Week:  Did ya’ll watch the Grammys?  I totally didn’t.  I was too busy being social to sit down and watch what sounds like a great show.  But the Grammys were SO not the biggest music news of the week for me.  Oh hells no, not this week…not this WONDERFUL, GLORIOUS WEEK, for on this wonderful, glorious week it was confirmed that New Kids on the Block will be reuniting for a tour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am bewitched, bothered and bewildered (yet still, somehow, hangin’ tough)…I am all a tither…as you well may have guessed I was the biggest NKOTB fan during my high school years.  (I’ve just aged myself.  Damn!)  I went to two concerts, jumped a fence, A FENCE!, to try and meet them, I had the pins, the pillows, the posters, the t-shirts, the life-size cutout, all the albums, every video meticulously recorded and preserved, more Tiger Beats and Teen Beats than anyone should ever have, my sweet sixteen birthday party at the Penbrook Fire Station (it was, by the by, an AWESOME party…I had a color scheme (green and pink), a DJ, a three tiered birthday cake AND a cold cut platter) was a complete homage to all things NKOTB, every gift, every song, I think my friends and I even had full scale dance routines in which we mimicked the videos move for freaking move.  My fave - Donnie Wahlberg.  That he is the only one of the five to have any semblance of a respectable career (let’s call a spade a spade, and this spade says that the Wahlberg brothers have some serious acting chops among them) brings me no end of joy.  Anyhoo, all of this is to say that if NKOTB comes anywhere near the great county of LA, I will be there!  Because they had (and hopefully still have) the right stuff.

(Damn, that was too easy.  I HAD to do it!)

See ya’ll next week!

Week 38:  down 1.5 pounds (-32 pounds total!)

Yes, yes, ’tis another evening edition of Her Hotness’ Weekly Speak.  Sue me.  I know for a fact that most of you biotches did not have to work today (can you tell from my bitter tone that I did?) and so I took the opportunity to snatch some additional sleepytime…besides, anyone who checks my site on a day off when there are SUCH good sales to be had should be ashamed of themselves.  We have a failing economy to think about, people.  Go and spend!

And now back to our Hotter purpose…I know I’ve waxed philosophical up and down the wazoo these past few weeks, and I thank you all for your continued support and encouragement.  How’s about we try something different…let’s say we throw all weight-y matters out the window and just talk about boys, boys, BOYS!  Woo hooo!  I’m getting giddy just thinking about it…

Ya’ll, I love boys.  I really do.  Love ‘em to death.  But ever since I put the kibosh on all things casual, ever since I declared that 2008 is all about the date, I’m having a dickens of a time finding some quality boys to help me keep to my resolutions.  Whaa??  Why?? 

To be fair, perhaps it is me.  Perhaps I’ve become so used to emitting sex vibes that I’ve been rendered incapable of anything less.  Perhaps Talent and Ambition refuse to give up their starring roles on Team Leah, forcing the true stars of the show - Intelligence and Strength of Character - to remain mere supporting players.  (Damn them, Talent and Ambition…they’ve been having their way with me for years, forcing me to spend gobs and gobs of money on uber-expensive bras that LONG ago sacrificed looks for support…little do they know that I WILL have the last laugh, cause guess what - they’re shrinking!  I’m losing weight chest first and wrenching back my body from the evil clutches of my ever present ta-tas…for I dream of the day when my cup size is but a single letter….I don’t care which letter, so long as it is only ONE letter…someday…)  Instead of bringing sexy back perhaps I just need to back off the sexy…can someone teach me how to do that?  Clearly I need some help.  Just like there’s no I in team, there’s no slut in relationship.  Damn.

But perhaps the issue is with the boys themselves.  I’d like to believe this is the real heart of the matter, because 1) I hate fighting with my breasts (someone always gets hurt) and 2) I know plenty of gals in this same predicament, most of whom are decent, respectable women who exude appropriate amounts of sass and sexiness.  So again I ask, where are the boys?  Or even better - where are the Hot Men?  (And yes, I’m referring to Men who are Hot on both the inside AND outside…we women understand the many shades of Hotness a man can exude…that this site is devoted to the picks of the litter lookwise doesn’t mean I can’t see beyond perfectly cut arms and abs…ohmigod, I’m so sorry but I really freaking love perfectly cut arms and abs!…sorry…)  I’m around men all day long at work…if they’re even remotely attractive they’re most definitely married.  Oy!  Am I really gonna have to break down and give myself the birthday present of a Match.com subscription?!  (My birthday is Feb. 27th and I accept all gifts!)  I think I might have to.  I almost signed up for eHarmony the end of last year, even created the beginnings of a profile, but chickened out at the last minute.  (What didn’t help the situation - the fact that most of the initial matches they sent me listed Jesus as one of the 3 most important things in their life.  Jesus!  I think margaritas may have topped my list and they’re sending me men who love the Lord?!?!  Umm, I don’t think so Mr. White Haired Dude In All Their Commercials.  I don’t think so.) 

So I guess I’m off to Match to find a match.  Why am I nervous about this?  Why am I kind of pissed that I have to do this?  Why can’t Mr. Hot/Right just come and knock on my freaking door and take me away from this madness?  Or, and this isn’t even axing a lot - why can’t one of the many men that I have had…um…dealings with step up to the plate and surprise a sister every once in a while and be a freaking Man.  I’m SO worth it!  Like, duh!!

(Of course now Mr. Hot/Right has read this and is afraid I’m going to be boob-less in just a few months…to which I say don’t worry…Talent and Ambition have been around wayyy too long to exit stage left so easily…there will still be plenty to share.  I promise.)

Hot Manspiration of the Week:  You may have been wondering just who this piece of Mancandy is that I’ve been trotting about this entry in an attempt to keep you all from falling asleep whilst I suss out my matters of the heart.  His name is Chad White.  As you can see from the pics he is a model…stunningly beautiful, eh?  This may be one of the best bodies to hit HMD in quite some time.  I’m falling over myself over this one, yowza!  He came to my Mantention via a very, very dear friend in NYC who just happens to be celebrating a birthday this week.  (My birthday is Feb. 27th and I accept all gifts!)  And so this week’s Hot Manspiration is serving double duty as a birthday tribute to my buddy, my dearheart, my former roomie, my great friend.  He writes, “I must INSIST you research Chad White.  If you have Victor Webster up in here you need to let me (NoTORious from NYC) show you something better.  Google him, youtube him…people freak for him.  He has a cult following and you need to introduce your peeps to him.” 

Peeps, meet Hot Man Chad White.  Chad, meet my peeps.  I think you two will get along juuuust fine…

We now interrupt this Weekly Speak for a VERY important message…

Hey ya’ll!  Guess what?  This Wednesday is MY BIRTHDAY!!!!  Woo hoo!!!  As you can see I am a major fan of birthdays, particularly mine own.  What proper party girl wouldn’t relish the chance to raise the roof on her own behalf?  Hell, I use Arbor Day as an excuse to whoop it up…don’t give me a viable reason to celebrate and expect me to lay low.  Hells no!  And so I sing my body electric and I glory in the glow of my birth.  (If you don’t get that reference then you clearly are neither a Fame fan nor, to a lesser extent, a Walt Whitman fan…to which I say begone, you un-cultured cur!  Leave my blog forever and don’t come back!  There’s no room in this site for Leroy-haters…an epic work of effing brilliance, Fame was…I SO wanted to go to a high school where people would routinely break into fully choreographed musical numbers…but nooo…stupid high school…)

Ya’ll may also notice that I did not weigh in.  This was not an oversight, but rather a deliberate choice on my part.  Her Hotness was felled by a pretty nasty bug last week, nothing that ever materialized into a serious cold but enough of something to make working out a physical impossibility.  And while the food end of things didn’t go haywire, I’m just NOT in the mood to see even a half-pound addition on my total, not when I have busted my ass these past few weeks.  And certainly not when this Wednesday is MY BIRTHDAY!!  (Woo hoo!!)  So as a present to me please give me your patience as I get myself back into the swing of things, exercise-wise.  I promise I’ll report in next Monday morning, no matter the outcome.  Deal?  Mmmkay!

Aaahh, birthdays…I received my first gift the other day, and it couldn’t be more symbolic or appropriate.  Kids, Her Hotness’ bed has been a sore spot for some time…literally.  It is SO old it has a huge dip in the middle that is visible even under layers of blankets.  In short, the sucker ‘taint working.  Ya’ll - I broke my bed!  (It’s been a good few years)  I broke my bed!  (What can I say?  I’ve told you I’m very bendy.)  I haven’t had a truly decent night of sleep in so long…but no more!  I have a new bed!  A brand new, beautiful pillow-top mattress and boxspring of my very freaking own!  Ya’ll, I have to give a major HMD shout out to the Kelms, Trina and Todd, because this is the best gift I could have received this year.  Thank you guys!!! 

Two things occured to me upon receipt of this gift - 1) I am, time and time again, completely overwhelmed by the amount of goodwill coming my way from all the peeps I am lucky enough to be surrounded by in my life.  Seriously.  I teared up when I saw my gift, and I still well up when I really think about the extraordinary blessings that ALL of my family and friends have bestowed upon me.  How can anyone go wrong in this world with such people behind them?  They cannot.  I cannot.  And so this week is not so much about Hot Manspiration (although there WILL be some, fear not dear reader) as it is about Hot Friendspiration…I am the luckiest gal I know.  Smooches and hugs to you all!  2) A new bed.  A new me?  2008 is all about the date…(I shall take this most moment and wring all the symbolism out of it)…out with the old bed, full of memories, some good, some not so good, some disastrous, some delightful, none very permanent, none very committed, none very…right.  In with the new bed full of new hopes and new dreams, a chance to do things correctly, or at least a smidge better, a chance to find comfort and support and maybe even peace…at the very least, I shall be well-rested.  That just might be enough.  Sweet dreams to me…sweet dreams…

Yes, I WILL be here this Wednesday (my birthday!) for a very special February edition of Hot Man Diet Requests and Dedications…See you then!      

Hot Manspirations of the Week:  I know what we were all doing last night…aaahh Oscars.  Hollywood’s lil gift to me.  Such Hotness to be found at this year’s Oscars, was there not?  Denzel looking all distinguished and Hot and sexy…Clooney all polished and Hot and debonair…that Irish bloke from Once who won best song and was all charming and Hot and talented…and Jon Stewart, oh Jon Stewart…how much do I love The Daily Show?  Let me count the ways…you are the epitome of Funny Hot, the very essence of Charming Hot, a shining example of Smart Hot…my friend A. in NYC has been clamoring for you to appear in a HMD R & D for months now but I knew I wanted to save you for Oscar week.  Hot Manspiration never made us laugh so much.  We love you Jon!

And you, Javier Bardem, making your second (deserved) HMD appearance…you sir, are just Mothertrucking Hot, Steamy Hot, Caliente Hot, Come Over Here And Kiss Me Hot…or as my friend K. put it last night “He’s So Hot He Makes Me Weak!” Hot…and then there were no more words…’cause you’re just Too Hot!!