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Jun 19
Testify Sister! Posted by Leah

Week 3: down 1 pound (-8.5 total!)

Hey HMD’ers!  Did ya’ll enjoy my Father’s Day Hotness?  Somebody called them “Dadspirations”, an awesome term I cannot believe I didn’t think of myself.  Those Dadspirations are enough to keep a girl on track, huh? 

Yesterday morning I found myself watching Matt Lauer interview Princes William and Harry Hot Princes William and Harryon the Today show, and I realized that not only do I want a Hot Man, I want to create a Hot Man!  Watching those two (Hot!) young men discuss their mother with such respect and affection, to hear them speak of her legacy with such eloquence and passion…well, it made this old gal yearn for her own Hot Boys.  What a wonderful thing that would be, to raise a good Man for the world to enjoy, that perhaps someday a woman might think of my son as her Hot Manspiration of the Week…awww…I’m getting all teary-eyed and shit…

But enough of that, let’s get back to business.  This diet is working, ya’ll.  And not just for me.  I have received my first testimonial!  I have fans!  People are really listening to what I’m saying!  Ladies and gentlemen, meet my Hot Man Dieter of the Week:

The Hot Man Diet is actually working. I can’t tell you how many bad food choices I have NOT made thanks to Hot Manspiration.  For example, last night at dinner, I ordered grilled fish instead of a blue cheese burger.  For lunch I ate an english muffin and some turkey breast instead of pizza with jalapenos and mushrooms. And I just got a cup of coffee instead of the chocolate cookie that was sitting right next to the coffee cups. And let’s not forget the fact that hot dudes do NOT like chicks who smoke…I owe this girl my life. Tell her thanks next time you see her!!

YOU’RE WELCOME!!  Keep it up (especially the no smoking!).

Hot Manspiration of the Week:  Again, this one is for my HMDer of the Week, whose favorite Hot Manspiration is Matthew McConaughey.  Who can argue with such a fine choice?  Not I, said the cat, not I.

Hot Man Matthew McConaughey

HMD Foe of the Week:  Weekends!  Ugh, it is SO hard for me to be mindful of my food choices on the weekends.  I don’t know about you guys, but come Friday afternoon all thoughts of fruits and vegetables go out the friggin’ window, save for the random citrus attached to my cocktail or the salsa that comes with my chips and margaritas.  It is a struggle, one that I cannot claim to have mastered at all.  I can have a fantastic week, but those last 48 hours, oy!  They’re the roughest.  Does anyone have any good tips/tricks for dealing with weekends?  (P.S.  Do NOT send me any of those craptacular “diet tricks” we’ve all heard a gajillion times…if you’ve got an interesting tip I want to hear it.  If you’re gonna tell me to drink less or order a salad at a bar, save it for the next schmuck!)  

Jun 25
Waist Management Posted by Leah

Week 4: down 4 pounds (- 12.5 total!)  Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap - this has been a GREAT week!!!!!

Hello HMD’ers!  There’s something that’s been bugging me that I must get off my chest.  I am convinced I was alive during the Depression.  Seriously, I must have been.  How else to explain my unwillingness to waste food?  You know how your parents always told you to clean your plate because there are starving children in Africa?  Well, I have taken that sentiment to heart and then some, as it hurts me to the very core, it wounds my soul to waste food!

 To wit - a few weeks ago I went out to dinner with friends.  Mexican restaurant (my fave).  I ordered a large burrito, thinking that half of it would make for an excellent lunch the next day.  The good part was that I did eat only half of the sucker.  The bad part was that I forgot that I already had lunch for the next day, a salad that needed to be eaten or else would start to go bad (oh, the horror, one cannot let food go bad!!).  I also had dinner plans that evening, so there was no immediate time in sight for me to consume my leftovers.  I stored it in the fridge, ignoring the panic brewing in my stomach, that I might waste this glorious half of a burrito.  (Did I really just write that?!  A “glorious half of a burrito”?  HMD’ers, help me.  Save me!  Send me somewhere calm and cool so that I may lose my mind behind closed doors and away from children and the elderly.  Clearly, that is where I am headed.  Ugh.) 

As I prepared for bed, my mind kept wandering to the leftovers, thinking, planning, looking at the days ahead, not seeing any free mealtime available during which they could be consumed.  (It was a particularly social weekend for me.)  I washed my face.  The burrito.  I brushed my teeth.  The burrito.  I pulled back my bedsheets.  The glorious half of that mothertrucking burrito!  It was like a tell-tale heart in my kitchen, thumping, bumping, lulling me from my bed, peeling off my good judgement, guiding me gently into refried madness!  I musn’t waste the glorious half of that mothertrucking burrito!  

I caved.  I ate the whole damn thing.  I did.  I wish I could say I didn’t, but I did.  No Hot Manspiration could stop me.  It was too much.  But I learned something valuable that night - what happens at the restaurant stays at the restaurant!  No more leftovers, ever.  I’m done with ’em.    

I feel clean now, as if I have given confession and been washed of my sins.  Thank you, HMD’ers, for listening.  Please do not judge too harshly, ere I will stack this site full of pics of the homeliest men you’ve ever seen.  I will!  I’ll do it!

Hot Manspirations of the Week:  It seems like every time I’ve turned on my tv this week the same commercial has been playing.  For once, I am happy to see such constant advertising, as Hot Man Taye DiggsHot Man John Stamosthe commercial in question is Propel Fitness Water’s “Powerwalk” ad.  Have you seen it?  It is the best 30 seconds on tv right now!  It is the ad Hot Man Diet would make if Hot Man Diet had enough money to make an ad.  It is brilliant!  So here’s to Taye Diggs, Derek Jeter (yes, him again) and John Stamos - they’re my Hot Manspirations of the Week!  Have mercy!

HMD Foe of the Week:  Margaritas.  It pains me to write that, but ’tis true.  You see, tequila and I have what is akin to a domestic abuse relationship.  I love it, adore it, but each time I partake it hurts me.  I try to move away, try to find something less harmful like rum and diet or vodka and soda.  But it calls me back, tells me things will be different the next time, the next time it won’t hurt.  But it always does!  And I can’t say no!  I can’t quit it.  Oh tequila, I wish I knew how to quit you!   

So…who wants to meet up for margaritas this weekend?

Hello HMD’ers!  I hope this special entry finds you happy, healthy and wise.  I am doing pretty well myself, having just gone shopping because my clothes are too big!  Yup, what a fabulous reason to bust out the credit cards.  Fabulous!

I am here to give ya’ll a special pre-4th of July treat.  I aim to send you guys off to barbeque hell (or heaven, let’s be honest here) with an arsenal of Hotness to keep you on track.  To that end, I am proud to present the virgin (tee hee) showing of what will be a monthly feature - Hot Man Diet Requests and Dedications.  This is Hot Manspiration at its finest, because this is where you, HMD’ers, get to choose the featured Hot Men!  Maybe they’ve been featured before but you want a second (closer?, naked-er?) look.  Maybe they’ve never been featured cause they don’t do it for me (I won’t be offended…the less women that like Derek Jeter the better my chances!).  Maybe they’re completely off the beaten path but rock your no-cookie-eating world!  Tell me who you want, and I’ll try my best to give ‘em to ya. Hot Man Ryan Reynolds

This first batch of HMD R & D is pretty Mantacular, if’n I may say so myself.  You guys have great taste in Hot Men.  I may be borrowing some of this Hotness during my weaker moments this weekend, because, everybody repeat after me, nothing tastes as good as a Hot Man feels™!!! 

To start us off we have a pic that’s going out to T. in Long Beach.  She’s been raving about this boy for years.  I never really got it…until now.  Look at that Manificence.  Don’t you want to just…feel him?  Ryan Reynolds, welcome to Hot Man Diet.  You are T.’s Hot Manspiration of the Month!    

Hot Man John MayerOur next HMD Request and Dedication goes out to L. in Brooklyn.  She writes, “May I suggest a John Mayer pic?  I know it’s cheesy, but I love him.”  Rule number one - never apologize for your Hot Manspiration!  Accept him, whoever he is, because if he is enough to make you put down that doughnut that’s all you need!  So for L. in the BK, here is John Mayer, your Hot Manspiration of the Month.  (I acknowledge that the cheese factor is probably courtesy of the ex-Jessica in his life.  I cannot judge, however, as Mr. Jeter has dated several Jessicas.  Even Mr. Reynolds above is said to be dating/have dated a Jessica.  They are EVERYWHERE, those stinking Jessicas.  Apparently Jessica is the new Heather.  Where are Christian Slater and Winona Ryder when  you need them?)

Our last bit o’ Hotness comes at the behest of H. in Lakewood, who fell under the spell of Hot Man Paul Ruddthe seriously adorable Paul Rudd after seeing Knocked Up.  (I must point out that he’s been seriously adorable for some time now, starting with the seriously adorable Clueless.)  He’s the Hot Man that makes you laugh.  And while, everybody repeat after me, nothing tastes as good as a Hot Man feels™, things taste even worse when said Hot Man can also make you roar with laughter.  It’s the thinking woman’s aphrodisiac…well, that and The Daily Show.  Congratulations, Paul Rudd.  You’re H.’s Hot Manspiration of the Month. 

Would you like to see your Hot Manspiration in next month’s HMD Requests and Dedications?  Send your request via email to herhotness@hotmandiet.com

Have a grand weekend!  See you Monday.

Jul 02
A Hotness of One’s Own Posted by Leah

Week 5: down 0 pounds (- 12.5 total!)  I figured this would be my first week with no weight loss.  After last week’s impressive showing, this doesn’t surprise me in the least.  But it MIGHT have been avoided - I think there were a few days there where I didn’t have ANY fruits and/or vegetables!  I know, I know, that is very poor form, but I’m already prepared to mend my cheating ways.  I’m going to imagine that it is George Clooney feeding me those grapes and carrots, one by one, from his hands to my lips…I need more grapes!  I need more carrots!  I need more George!

Many of you guys might remember that in my very first post, The Hotness Begins…, I mentioned the fact that I live in Los Angeles.  I cannot tell you how huge a role this city has played in my life.  And in taking a moment to speak about my own oft-questioned (by me, anyway) Hotness, I must needs bring up the impact of living in the City of Angels. 

Los Angeles is full of incredibly well built, exceptionally good looking women.  I do not believe that I am one of them.  I am not trying to be coy or self-deprecating here, I am just trying to call a spade a spade, and this spade says that she just don’t feel so pretty lately.  I mean, this isn’t entirely unusual.  No woman that I know ever feels like she’s a bona fide 10 all of the time, and this list includes several women who are incredibly well built and exceptionally good looking.  So maybe I should chalk it up to hormones (damn ye, HMD Foe #2!) or just an emotional slump in general.  Maybe I’m just concentrating so much on the Hotness of others that I’ve not noticed my own.  In any case, I’ve been feeling invisible to men lately.  And that is hard, pun notwithstanding. 

We all of us want to feel desirable, no?  This brings to mind a quote from one of my Mostest Favoritest Plays Ever - Ntozake Shange’s for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf: ”I want you to know/this waz an experiment/to see how selfish i cd be…if i cd stand not being wanted/when I wanted to be wanted/& i cannot.”  And while I have taken this quote a bit out of context, I simply couldn’t resist a) introducing peeps to the exceptional work of Ms. Shange  and b) borrowing some of her brilliance to make my point.  We all want to be wanted!  We do!  And it is simply hard (again, pardon the pun) to catch some male attention in a city teeming, nay, overflowing with incredibly well built, exceptionally good looking women.  Of course, this is the reason I started HMD, because I recognized that as much as I am a “fun gal” with a “great personality” and a really good “sense of humor”, as much as I am ALL of these things and more, at the end of the day it don’t mean shit.  Eeeck, that sounded bitter!  Let’s try that again: at the end of the day, if those things don’t come nicely wrapped, that’ll be one gift that never really gets opened.  Or not opened often enough, if you know what I mean.  (Mom, I’m really talking about presents here, Christmas presents, birthday presents, those things in boxes covered in wrapping paper, really I am!…okay…I’m going to church now!)  

This would typically be the point where I would sum things up with an insightful, eloquent bit of wisdom, where I would illuminate the lessons learned from this quandry and look forward with a hopeful eye on the future.  But…I can’t.  This is simply one of those things that comes with being a woman who lives in Los Angeles. 

Besides, ”I’ve got a long way to go, but with Hot Man Diet on my side, I’ll make it!”  Yeah, that’s right.  I quoted myself.  You got something to say about it? 

I didn’t think so!

Hot Manspiration of the Week: Clive Owen.  Hubba hubba.  I watched Children of Hot Man Clive OwenMen Tuesday evening and am STILL thinking of this Hot Man.  I remember when I saw him the first time, years ago, when a friend dragged me to a random Friday night viewing of Croupier.  I was hooked then, even though he was young and rough around the edges and, unfortunately, blond for most of the movie (and I usually like blonds, but it does NOT work on him!).  Now he’s aged like a fine wine, ’cause that Man is UNDENIABLY HOT!!  Even Lancome agrees.  So does J. from Maine, who submitted Mr. Owen as his HMD Request and Dedication: “ I do have a man request.  I’m partial to the Brits.  I don’t know why.  Flawed but pretty I suppose.  Clive Owen, the new face of Lancome and the face to wake up to every morning and the most beautiful lips to whisper ‘You’re hot.  I’m hot.  Let’s do  it.’”  Yowza!  I like your style, J. from Maine, I like your style!!

Seeing as how today’s entry focused more on the dark side of Hotness, I’m gonna switch things up this week, lest I become That Girl, you know, That Girl That’s Always Complaining About Things When She Should Be Talking About Hot Men.  Instead of featuring a HMD Foe of the Week, I give you all a very special:

Hot Man Diet Friend of the Week: The first ever HMD Friend of the Week is Hot Man Djimon HounsouNetflix.  Thank God for Netflix.  It brings Hotness right into my house.  I love it!  How did I ever live without it?  Not only can I thank Netflix for bringing me Clive last week, I can thank it for the current Hotness sitting on my living room table, Blood Diamond.  (Question: Who will be next week’s Hot Manspiration - Leo DiCaprio or Djimon Hounsou?  Answer: BOTH!)  And I will be FOREVER in Netflix’s debt for introducing me to Daniel Craig, whom I instantly fell madly in love with after viewing Casino Royale and who is one third of my Original Trifecta of Hotness.  Also, it is the best Christmas gift (see Mom, I AM talking about presents!) that I ever gave my grandmother.  She’s obsessed with Doogie Howser, MD…but that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah… 

**** A Very Special Announcement ***** A Very Special Announcement ****

Hot Man Diet merchandise now available!!  Hot Man Diet merchandise now available!!  Order your items now at http://www.cafepress.com/HotManDiet.  And keep checking in - more items will be coming soon!! 

Week 6: down .5 pounds (- 13 total!)

Hello out there in HMD land!  And how does this week find us all?  Full of American spirit?  Independent and free?  Or still completely confused about what the hell day it is?  (I’m the latter.) 

I am pleased to say that I have come out of last week’s temporary funk unharmed and unfazed.  For those of you truly interested, it was indeed HMD Foe #2 that had a sister down.  As the week went on I regained some of the stature and confidence befitting Her Hotness, and right now I am feeling mighty good.  I must be looking mighty good, too, because I had a most interesting encounter on Saturday.  I go walking anywhere from three to five times a week for exercise (I don’t do gyms!) through my neighborhood, a seriously intense 3 mile trek that keeps me honest, if you know what I mean.  I am usually accompanied by a very good friend, but on this particular day it was just me and my iPod.  Anyhoo, as I am on the first leg of my journey I spied a Hot Man coming out of a nearby apartment building.  We made very brief eye contact, as I am lately prone to staring down all Hot Men (in the name of research, of course!).  I kept walking.  Next thing I know, a car pulls up beside me, the windows roll down, and Hot Man is asking me out!  I was stunned!  I mean, it was late in the afternoon, I hadn’t showered, my hair was jacked up, I was wearing a beat up t-shirt and very old, very baggy pants that I later discovered had a huge hole in the crotch.  I did not look anywhere NEAR my best, but there he was, seeing something that he liked.  And the confidence that had been brewing all week, stirring in me and coming alive again after a short departure, it burst forth like a tidal wave.  I was HOT!  Hole in the crotch and all.  Hot!

Oh…and I DID give him my number and I WILL go on a date with him.  Don’t worry…he totally didn’t look like a murderer!

Please don’t get me wrong - in NO WAY do I think that I am only Hot if and when someone else says I am.  No way!  I’m just saying that the attention was nice, especially considering that I began the week feeling seriously off my game.  That’s all. 

And who doesn’t want a Hot Man to buy ‘em dinner (and maybe give ‘em a smooch or two)?!

Hot Manspiration of the Week: Oh Leo.  Leo, Leo, Leo.  Leo, Not Yet Hot Man Leo DiCaprioI must admit that in the beginning, I was not your biggest fan.  Back in the days of Jack and Rose, when all of the female world swooned at your feet, I didn’t get it.  My best friend got it, oh, she got it hard, LOVED you and thought you were the best thing since sliced bread.  Even my grandmother got in on the act, proudly presenting the Christmas gift she had bought me - a huge, three wick candle that played an instrumental version of My Heart Will Go On when lit.  But I still didn’t get it.  You were too pretty.  Too small, too cute, just so very…wee.  I resented you your career, because I was still too pissed about River’s death to accept you as his heir apparent.   But then…well…you grew up and grew Hot.  When did that even happen?!  I saw you in Catch Me If You Can and I thought you were okay, but still kind of lanky and young.  I saw you in The Aviator and you lost me a bit, as everyone else in that film looked a good decade older than you.  I didn’t buy it.  But…somewhere between that film and The Departed you seriously filled out.  You got a little rough around the edges.  Your chestal area took on a heretofore unseen depth and definition.  I was stunned by your Hotness!  I mean, your acting was great and the movie was great, but your Hotness took my breath away!  And watching Blood Diamond this week, I mean, again there you were looking like…like…like a Man, finally, and a seriously Hot Man at that!  Alls I can say is damn…damn!  I don’t know what you did, but it worked.  Leonardo DiCaprio, you’re my Hot Manspiration of the Week!

Hot man Leo DiCaprio

Hot Man Diet Foe of the Week:  Vegetables.  Not in the sense that they are bad for me, just in the sense that I find it extremely difficult to eat as many as I’m supposed to.  I mean, I like veggies, I really do.  But let’s face it - they are high maintenance, elusive sons of bitches.  They require cooking, which requires grocery shopping, which requires planning, which requires time - NONE of which I have/do in abundance these days.  But I say this now, before God and all of you dear HMD’ers - this week I WILL eat 3 - 5 servings of vegetables EVERYDAY!  I’m throwing down the gauntlet and issuing the challenge to myself.  Hold me to it, HMD’ers.  Hold me to it!

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