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Week 12: down 2 pounds (-11.6 pounds total) So excited about this loss!! Surprised and excited! HMD’ers, you may recall that even though I didn’t post an entry I did in fact weigh in 2 weeks ago. At that time I was up .6 pounds. So it seems I have actually lost 2.6 pounds during these past two weeks. Excellent news, especially since I now find myself in a house full of turkey, pie and stuffing….next week should be interesting…

Helloooo!!! Did everyone have a nice Thanksgiving? Is everyone else now stuck in a house full of turkey, pie and stuffing? I looked in my fridge this morning and had a mild panic attack. Who the hell is going to eat all this foooooooooodddddd??!?!?!?!? Will all of you please come over for dinner this week? Please!!! The holiday season is upon us, kids. It is in our fridge and in our face and I, for one, am not quite ready for it. Help me, HMD’ers!! I’ve got a little bit of fight in me…but is it enough?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

It is with a sigh of relief that I bring back one of HMD’s feature presentations - the glorious Hot Man Diet Requests and Dedications! Ah kids, nothing fills me with warmness more than requested Manspiration! You all have given me some serious Mancandy over the years and I thank you for it. I love the Hotness. You love the Hotness. I LOVE that you love the Hotness!! Let us all be Manspired!! I’ve only got a little bit of fight in me - let’s make sure it is enough!

Today’s Request and Dedication comes from a rather unlikely source - the Professor’s Mom! For those of you just joining us, the Professor is my sweetheart. He’s the best Hot Man I have ever known and I plan on keeping him around forever. Lucky for me his mother is an incredibly lovely woman, a sweet Southern lady with a killer eye for spotting Hotness. Whaaa?!?!? The sweet Southern lady has a killer eye for spotting Hotness?! And how!! First off, I have to give her some serious Hot Man Diet accolades. She has lost over 30 pounds since July!!!!! That is incredible!! She’s been kicking butt and taking names at Weight Watchers and I am incredibly proud of her. WOO HOOOOO!!!!! So inspiring!! When she wrote the Professor with two suggestions for HMD I couldn’t help but plan out an entire entry around her and her wonderful success story.

Her two choices for Hot Manspiration of the Week are an interesting duo. First, we have actor/singer Christian Kane. He’s rough and rugged around the edges, a country boy you may or may not have heard of but one you definitely wouldn’t mind meeting on a cold night in a cool bar. He’s got a RIDICULOUS body and while I may not be the biggest fan of the long hair there is no denying that the muscles more than make up for it. If you have those arms around you do you need turkey, pie and stuffing? I don’t think so!

Christian Kane

The beautiful yin to Christian’s brawny yang, Shemar Moore is easily one of the best looking men to have ever inhabited this earth. I am stunned that he has never been on Hot Man Diet! I thought for sure he had been a Manspiration of the Week several times over, but amazingly enough this is his virgin appearance on HMD. For shame, Leah, for shame!! I’ve known about Shemar Moore and his face (that face!!) and his lips (those lips!!!) and his smile (that smile!!!) for years now, when he was on The Young and The Restless and thus always on my dorm room tv. (Y&R used to be my jam!) Huge thanks to the Professor’s Mom for reminding me about this Manificence. Excellent taste, excellent work. Everyone - give it up for the Professor’s Mom! When we needed inspired Manspiration most of all, she delivered. You. Go. GIRL!!

Shemar Moore

Nov 21
Old Habits Die Harder Posted by Leah

Week 11: …

I know. I know, I know, I know, I KNOW! I kinda suck. I came back and made all kinds of promises and said all kinds of “we WILL finish it this time!” and blew all kinds of smoke and whatnot in your face…only to completely fall back into the exact same patterns as before. Old habits are a bitch. They stick around like cockroaches, like freaking death defying cockroaches! Now we haven’t checked in since Halloween and you’re probably/maybe/hopefully not over it and I am pissed at myself for both making and breaking this promise again. Good times. And today I was all poised to yet again let another week slip away entry-less, to go off into the weekend burdened with quiet shame and disappointment in myself. I may not be curing cancer here, but dammit if I can’t reconcile myself to the fact that this is important to me!!! And because it is important to me it hurts when I ignore it. It festers in my mind and heart and just makes me feel bad. I am OVER feeling bad. It kinda sucks.

Here’s where we stand - the last time I stepped on the scale was November 7th, what would have officially been Week 9. I was up .6 pounds. Not a huge deal. Nothing that can’t be fixed with a modicum of effort. Something I should have have been able to easily write about. But I didn’t want to. I have no idea why, I just DID NOT feel like writing that day. So I said to myself, fine, if you don’t want to write don’t write. This is your blog, after all. You don’t owe anyone anything. Go ahead about your business and write when you feel like writing. This is your journey. You decide how fast or how slow it goes.

And that would have been fine if, say, I had not used these same kind of Jedi mind tricks my entire life to avoid all manner of responsibility and accountability. And it also would have been fine if, say, the lack of HMD focus didn’t lead to a week of crazy, unbridled, idiotic eating. Like all of a sudden I wasn’t AT ALL trying to lose weight or be healthy (or even sane). So of course, OF COURSE, the last thing I wanted to do November 14th (aka Week 10) was get anywhere near a scale or, even worse, this blog. Right when I needed it the most, Hot Man Diet was the thing I wanted to do the least. Such weird, perverted thinking!! Self-destruction at its best. An old habit of mine that will not go away. So frustrating! BLARGH!!!!

Then today I got a picture on my phone of a beautiful little girl who made her first appearance in this world just one week ago and I remembered - baby steps. True change comes from a combination of big, brave leaps of faith and necessary, difficult baby steps. This entry is one of the latter. I have no news to report as I did not weigh in this morning (does one ever step on the scale when the previous night’s dessert was homemade creme brulee?), but I am HERE. And for right now, here will have to be good enough.

Please know that I am trying. It is hard, this business of change. But I am trying. I promise to be here next Friday and I promise to weigh in…on Thursday morning. As much as one should not weigh in after creme brulee one should DEFINITELY not weigh in the morning after Thanksgiving!! I will weigh myself Thursday morning and then I will be off to do my Turkey Trot 5k!!

I give thanks for you all, for your continued support, and for coming back next week. It will be worth it, I promise! I am resurrecting an old favorite - Hot Man Diet Requests and Dedications is baaaaaaaaccccckkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oct 31
Run Leah Run Posted by Leah

Week 8: down 1.2 pounds (-9.6 pounds total)

Hey kids! Happy Halloween!!! Are you kids trick and/or treating? Getting all dolled up and going to a party? Or are you rocking out Halloween like the Professor and I are - by turning out the house lights and going out for dinner? I know, I know…we’re such (the Halloween equivalent of) Scrooges. The thing is I really love holidays and I truly love seeing the little kiddies all dressed in their Elsa finest (seriously…are the any girls under the age of 10 NOT going out as Elsa tonight?!) But the Professor and I live in a house that is tucked away behind another house and are unsure of the amount of foot traffic we may or may not receive. And I DO NOT want gobs and gobs of leftover candy tempting me from the pantry these next few weeks. So we’re doing the adult thing and getting the hell outta dodge. Also, I’m not really much of a costume girl. It seems like I would be, right? But I’m just not. My Halloween costumes are usually something like me holding a bag of Lays and then saying “I’m all that and a bag of chips” (Idea courtesy of Annie G, circa 6 years ago. Thanks Ann!) The Professor, however, is a HUGE fan of costumes, big, elaborate ones that put my silly ideas to shame. (For example, last year I was Brian Wilson, relief pitcher for the Dodgers. Yes, I dressed up as this guy:

Brian Wilson

SO RANDOM!! What was I thinking?!?!)

Anyhoo, I hope everyone has a great time tonight! Avoid all that blasted candy as much as possible, and then get your butts to the gym first thing tomorrow morning! I know I will. In fact, the gym is the ONLY reason I lost any bit of weight this week. I don’t know wanna tell you that I had pizza and beer and ice cream Monday night…but I did. Or that i spent Sunday COMPLETELY hungover…but I did. Or that Wednesday I got super hangry (hungry/angry) in the afternoon and took out half a bag of chips…but I did. And yet somehow, someway I managed to tip the scale back in the proper direction. My best guess as to why - the gym!!

The Professor and I work out at our local Y and we love it. I appreciate the fact that I am usually on the younger side of the spectrum in my classes (although both of us could do with less senior nudity in the locker room…it really is a bit much. I understand that once you get to a certain age you just don’t give a f**k, but STILL…I’ve now seen enough nekkid old lady parts to last me a good long while.) I have a strength training class that I attend three times a week and I love it! I rarely miss it and when I do it bums me out. I am also running again, which just kicks my butt but is a huge factor as to why I have lost some of said butt. I just signed up for the Torrance Turkey Trot, a 3 mile “fun run” on Thanksgiving morning, so I have a clear goal in mind with my running program. Although I am a little behind in my training (I got a sick two weekends ago and it put a huge wrench in my schedule). I am supposed to go run as soon as I post this entry and I am dreading it. I understand how good running is for me and I do think it positively affects my weight loss more than any other cardio exercise I can do…but I just don’t like it yet. I am hoping I’ll get there, I am assuming I will get there, but for now it takes all of my come on Leah…you can DO this spirit to get myself on that treadmill.

Come on Leah…you CAN DO THIS!!!

So my weekly workouts consist of a weights class I love and a running program that is not my fave but very challenging. I think that is a good combo. And I think it is working. This week has been the first where I can actually see the difference physically. My jeans are starting to gape in the middle (I always lose weight waist first) and my legs and butt are feeling stronger. My goal going into all of this was to lose 5 pounds a month, which is a very manageable 1.25 pounds a week. It has been two months and I am less than half a pound shy of that goal. I’ll take it!

Well…let me get outta here and get to the gym. Gotta run today. Come on Leah….you can do this…

Hot Manspiration of the Week: The other night I came into the room to find the Professor watching a show called Arrow on Netflix. Although he is very much into comics, he had never actually watched an entire episode and wanted to see what all the fuss was about. After less than a minute, I certainly could see what all the fuss was about. Holy crap! The show stars Stephen Amell and my god is he good looking!!! The show itself, the pilot at least, was engrossing…but who cares??!! Holy crap! This is some serious Hotness going on here. Those arms! That face! THOSE ARMS!! My favorite kind of Halloween Mancandy!


Oct 24
My Dream Deferred Posted by Leah

Week 7: up 3.2 pounds (-8.4 pounds total)

“What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?”

Harlem by Langston Hughes

Hey kids. Yes, you’re at the right place. Yes, I did indeed start today’s Weekly Speak with a lil’ bit of poetry. And yes, it does have EVERYTHING to do with what I have to discuss today.

I don’t know if I have ever told you kids about Her Hotness’ Great Big Life Dream. No, it isn’t becoming Mrs. Derek Jeter. (Not only am I far too old for that role - I am the exact same age as him, gasp! - but I am also far too…not a bikini model.) From the moment that I realized at the tender age of nine that, despite my best efforts, I would never be an Olympic gymnast I have instead focused on one singular professional pursuit - to be an actress. I began my acting studies in middle school at the local community theater. I spent high school summers at drama camp, blissfully geeking out to Broadway musicals and the company of extraordinarily talented comrades. In college I was all in, doing any and every bit of theater that I could get my greedy stage-hog arse cast in. I fell madly and deeply in love with ALL of it, studying Shakespeare at Oxford University, traveling with my college theater department to see the Humana Festival of New American Plays at the Actors Theatre of Louisville, and discovering the glory and wonder that is improvisational comedy. After graduation I continued to do comedy improv and even got to the point where I was teaching and performing improv professionally in New York City. All the signs seemed to indicate that I was on the right path. Despite the somewhat elusive and unpredictable nature of the business I was poised for a good strong go of it. I threw down the gauntlet and moved to Los Angeles, ready to become the town’s next big star. And that is when it all went to pot.

Life happened. Being broke happened. Office jobs with fun people doing fun things at night and on the weekends happened. And I joined their party. I moved around a lot, with each move taking me further and further, both literally and figuratively, away from the dream. I took a lot of crap jobs because I wanted to have less responsibility and more time to pursue acting. But the pursuit never came. I quit a lot of crap jobs because they were “killing my soul”, my precious little soul that needed freedom to pursue the dream. But the pursuit STILL never came. WHY?!?! Why was I deferring my OWN dream?!?!

With all due respect to the amazing words of Mr. Hughes, whose poem is a searing condemnation of a society where entire communities are stripped of their dreams by mere fact of their race, with all due respect to the amazing Lorraine Hansberry, who drew inspiration from Mr. Hughes’ amazing imagery to create one of the most important (and one of my favorite) pieces of modern American theater. With ALL due respect to this amazing duo, for I mean in no way to lessen the impact of their message by humbly borrowing it for a minute to help illustrate my point, which is thus - I know what happens to a dream deferred - it DOES explode! It explodes again and again, a thousand tiny sharp pains to remind you that you are not living the life you wanted and, what is worse, you never really tried.

For the better part of a decade, this has been my constant struggle, Easy enough to fix, right? Just go out there and do it. Get up, get over it and put yourself out there. For the better part of a decade, I have told myself these very words. Over and over and over again. And every time a crippling fear would settle into every crevice of my body, so my mind would try to simply think of something else.

For the better part of a decade, I have been engaged in a full tilt battle of wills…with myself. And it has been exhausting!

Recently, it seems a victor of this battle may have emerged. With the Professor’s encouragement and support (and patience!!) I have quietly made some pretty serious changes. This summer I began the process of looking for representation. Less than a month ago I signed with an agency!! They have already sent me on three auditions and each has been fun and interesting and I walk away each time feeling like I learned something. I plan on taking some acting classes very soon, and I am thrilled at the idea of being a student again. Many of my friends and former classmates are doing some incredible work right now and I ache to be right there with them. But I must remind myself that they have been at this for a while, pounding the pavement and putting in the time training and growing. I am ready to do that part, too!

It isn’t always easy. This week in particular has been a really emotional, difficult one. It is hard to be forty and starting over. It is really effing hard! My confidence is weak from years of neglect, but it’ll get there. The crippling fear is still present, but all of my forward motion has basically rendered it mute.

So kids…this is me. This is me and my dream (no longer deferred). You will forgive me, but this week there is no Hot Manspiration. Instead, this week is only inspiration. You ALL inspire me! I see your hard work and ambition and passion for life and I am inspired. I see your successes and your failures and your perseverance through it all and I am inspired. I see your kindness and your open hearts and I am honored to know you all. Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. Let’s do this!!

Oct 17

Week 6: down 6.2 pounds (-11.6 pounds total)

I know what you’re thinking. You’re like, oh look who decided to grace us with her presence FINALLY, and you’re like, um, excuse me missy but what had happened to last week’s entry and then you’re all like, don’t think that just because you’re coming back with a pretty badass weekly loss that all is forgiven, we’re not THAT easy, we want more than just Hotness, we want reliability and dependability and someone who keeps their promises and doesn’t leave us hanging, because that’s what you did, you just completely left us hanging!

And right about now you take a second look at the numbers, and while you are impressed again about my badass weekly loss you do some quick addition in your head and you realize that something doesn’t quite add up…wait a minute, at the end of Week 4, aka the last time this hussy took time out of her oh so busy schedule to write us, there was a total loss of 6.8 pounds…so if she’s lost 6.2 this week how is she only down 11.6 and not 13?

FINE! I admit it! I admit it, here in front of the 20 or so of you still putting up with my shenanigans - my weigh in last Friday showed that I gained 1.4 pounds. And THAT is why I didn’t post anything, because the entire entry would have consisted of WHY, GOD, WHY and THIS IS RIDICULOUS, DOES MY BODY REALIZE THAT I GO TO THE GYM EVERYDAY AND CONSTANTLY HURT, CONSTANTLY FREAKING HURT and SOMEONE BRING ME CAKE NOW and THIS IS SO UNFAIR, SERIOUSLY EVERYTHING HURTS and TO HELL WITH THIS, I’M DROWNING MY SORROWS IN MARGARITAS TONIGHT, TOMORROW NIGHT AND EVERY OTHER NIGHT EVER and lots of other similar outbursts. None of it would have been positive, and so I decided to spare you all the drama. I kept this mini-breakdown to myself (although the Professor had to deal with it by proxy of living with my unhinged, crazy self. Poor fella.)

Now don’t you feel bad? Don’t you?!

Well, you shouldn’t. Nor should I feel bad for taking a week off when I knew that nothing good would come of posting my vitriol for all the world to see. And here I am a week later, all back on the wagon and kicking butt and taking names. And SUPER EXCITED about my double digit loss!!

Hot Manspiration of the Week: Both the Professor and I are obsessed with The Voice. OBSESSED. And so it is only fitting that this week, this week that started off overflowing with negativity, it is only fitting that this week my Hot Manspiration is Pharrell. If you have not yet watched him on The Voice get thee to a tv STAT! He is freaking fountain of positivity! He is a Zen master! When he talks to you the heavens open up and birds land on your shoulder and sing to you…beyond the talent, which seems immeasurable, beyond his Blasian good looks, there is just something so…spiritually perfect about this man. The Professor and I joke that we want daily Pharrell-firmations, because everything that comes out of his mouth seems true and pure and just so gosh darn positive!! Keep blessing us with your wisdom, Mr. Williams. You’re why I’m Happy.


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