Week 6: down 6.2 pounds (-11.6 pounds total)
I know what you’re thinking. You’re like, oh look who decided to grace us with her presence FINALLY, and you’re like, um, excuse me missy but what had happened to last week’s entry and then you’re all like, don’t think that just because you’re coming back with a pretty badass weekly loss that all is forgiven, we’re not THAT easy, we want more than just Hotness, we want reliability and dependability and someone who keeps their promises and doesn’t leave us hanging, because that’s what you did, you just completely left us hanging!
And right about now you take a second look at the numbers, and while you are impressed again about my badass weekly loss you do some quick addition in your head and you realize that something doesn’t quite add up…wait a minute, at the end of Week 4, aka the last time this hussy took time out of her oh so busy schedule to write us, there was a total loss of 6.8 pounds…so if she’s lost 6.2 this week how is she only down 11.6 and not 13?
FINE! I admit it! I admit it, here in front of the 20 or so of you still putting up with my shenanigans - my weigh in last Friday showed that I gained 1.4 pounds. And THAT is why I didn’t post anything, because the entire entry would have consisted of WHY, GOD, WHY and THIS IS RIDICULOUS, DOES MY BODY REALIZE THAT I GO TO THE GYM EVERYDAY AND CONSTANTLY HURT, CONSTANTLY FREAKING HURT and SOMEONE BRING ME CAKE NOW and THIS IS SO UNFAIR, SERIOUSLY EVERYTHING HURTS and TO HELL WITH THIS, I’M DROWNING MY SORROWS IN MARGARITAS TONIGHT, TOMORROW NIGHT AND EVERY OTHER NIGHT EVER and lots of other similar outbursts. None of it would have been positive, and so I decided to spare you all the drama. I kept this mini-breakdown to myself (although the Professor had to deal with it by proxy of living with my unhinged, crazy self. Poor fella.)
Now don’t you feel bad? Don’t you?!
Well, you shouldn’t. Nor should I feel bad for taking a week off when I knew that nothing good would come of posting my vitriol for all the world to see. And here I am a week later, all back on the wagon and kicking butt and taking names. And SUPER EXCITED about my double digit loss!!
Hot Manspiration of the Week: Both the Professor and I are obsessed with The Voice. OBSESSED. And so it is only fitting that this week, this week that started off overflowing with negativity, it is only fitting that this week my Hot Manspiration is Pharrell. If you have not yet watched him on The Voice get thee to a tv STAT! He is freaking fountain of positivity! He is a Zen master! When he talks to you the heavens open up and birds land on your shoulder and sing to you…beyond the talent, which seems immeasurable, beyond his Blasian good looks, there is just something so…spiritually perfect about this man. The Professor and I joke that we want daily Pharrell-firmations, because everything that comes out of his mouth seems true and pure and just so gosh darn positive!! Keep blessing us with your wisdom, Mr. Williams. You’re why I’m Happy.